Red Sonja: Queen of Plagues Issue 4

As you may recall, last issue ended with the death of Red Sonja (Dead Sonja?).  So it is not too surprising that we open on Dark Annisia patrolling the fence she demanded built around the doomed city of Patra.

Dark Annisia spots an old man climbing over the fence, a task that is not that impressive as the fence cannot be more than three feet high at the most.  Seriously, when she said in issue two that she was going to build a fence around the plague city and turn it into a “living cemetery”, I envisioned something more impressive.  At the very least I was expecting something that an elderly man would have trouble scrambling over.

Dark Annisia stops him, but he claims that there is no plague in Patra; No one has died from the plague since Dark Annisia killed their king and exiled Red Sonja!  Unfortunately, the people in the city are now starving since the fields lay outside the quarantine zone. 

Even more unfortunately for the old man, Dark Annisia asks the ghosts she always sees following her to decide the man’s fate—unsurprisingly they have her kill him by striking his head from his body.  Apparently triggered by the old man’s reverence towards Red Sonja, Dark Annisia declares to her monster men soldiers that from now on she wants to be called “Red Annisia”.

Back in the snowy mountains, Red Sonja is apparently less dead than her rescuers claimed when they found her at the end of the last issue.

Not that she is doing very well though.  Red Sonja has gone blind, which apparently is a sign that the plague is nearing its final stages.  While Red Sonja is somewhat delirious at this point, her young rescuers manage to convey to her that the king’s son may be able to cure her if they bring her back to Patra.  Similarly, Red Sonja manages to convey to them that she wants alcohol.  As a compromise, the girls create a makeshift stretcher to pull her behind their horses while Red Sonja drinks from a wineskin and sings poorly.

At this point we have a flashback to the Zamoran Slave Pit with a younger—or at least slightly less well-endowed—Sonja meeting Dark Annisia for the first time.  At this point Annisia has a somewhat mocking tone when talking to the younger woman.  She informs Sonja that names are forbidden in the pit and warns Sonja that her willful attitude will get her sent out fight first.  Sonja simply declares that she has a name and if she gets sent out first she gets sent out first.

Despite Annisia’s condescending tone, she does give Sonja some advice on how to fight—advice Sonja will get a chance to use right away as the two women are sent to the pit to fight together against a team of four men for the amusement of the Zamoran king.

During the battle, Sonja manages to kill three of the four men by herself, much to Annisia’s surprise.  Sonja then methodically cuts off the heads of the men she killed.  Holding the three heads aloft, she proudly declares to the Zamoran king that her name is Red Sonja!

Back in the present, Ayla and Nias are foraging in the woods when they are set upon by a group of Zamoran monster men.  Their captain declares that an example must be made of them for breaking the quarantine.  So in somewhat ironic fashion he declares that the girls should be literally gutted like fish.  Specifically, he says, “Bend them forward, cut through to the spines as they do with fish.  Pull out the bones my friends.  Clean them and gut them.”

A still mostly blind Red Sonja hears this pleasant exchange.  Telling the “Deep Ones” that the girls are not seafood, she proceeds to slaughter the monster men despite being her physical limitation.  The captain turns out to be the same monster man who picked which slaves would fight back in the Zamoran pit.

Saving the girls and killing her old tormenter seems to reenergize Red Sonja.  She vows to return to Patra and take down Dark Annisia.

Thoughts

• I know I mentioned it before, but that fence was truly unimpressive.  No wonder people keep escaping.
• Dark Annisia rechristening herself as “Red Annisia” seems a little out of left field.
• I felt the flashback this issue was the weakest one so far.  We already knew Red Sonja and Dark Annisia had bonded in the Zamoran slave pit and I didn’t feel like we got enough new information of what it was like to justify the pages spent on it.  Young Sonja seemed pretty much fully developed, personality wise at least, by the end of her first fight, I wish more time was sent showing how her time in the pits shaped her into the bad ass she is today.
• I’m having a hard time determining how much time passed between young Red Sonja killing the raiders that destroyed her village and her fighting in the slave pits.  She seems almost as young as she did in last issue’s flashback in the initial scenes with Dark Annisia, but in the fight scene that takes place a few panels earlier, she looks a few years older.  This doesn’t seem intentional as the dialogue implies the flashback is all happening over the course of a few hours.
• Red Sonja literally calls the Zamoran monster men Deep Ones in this issue.  They still seem more like Davy Jones’ crew from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies than Lovecraft to me though.
• As the exception that proves the rule, the deep one captain describing how to gut the young women like fish in great detail was well done and creepy.  This was the first time the monster men seemed truly inhuman to me.

Red Sonja: Queen of Plagues Issue 3

The story picks up two fortnights after last issue, with Red Sonja is leading her horse through a frozen forest.  The effects of the plague and the isolation are taking their toll on her.  She realizes she has lost the will to care for herself—the only thing keeping her alive is the fact that she is caring for her horse.  Red Sonja hears a noise in the forest and quickly draws her bow, only to see a magnificent white stag.

Despite the fact that the stag would provide her with much needed food, Red Sonja cannot let loose her arrow.  Having lost all hope, the exhausted warrior collapses into the snow ready to die.  Strangely for a wild animal, the stag lies down beside Red Sonja, keeping her warm.  Lying in the snow, Sonja begins to hallucinate.

First Sonja is visited by an image of her father, who tells her that it is time for her to join her family.  Sonja then suddenly finds herself in the past, a young girl chasing after a different (?) white stag on her first hunt.  During this hunt Sonja also fails to kill the stag, much to her father’s disappointment.  He explains to his daughter that by letting the stag go Sonja has cost them food they need to survive.  Sadly he tells Sonja that despite her skills with woodcraft and the bow perhaps she is not yet ready to be a hunter. 

The conversation is interrupted when one of Sonja’s brothers sees a column of smoke and fire rising up from the village.  Realizing the village is being attacked by marauders, Sonja’s father insists she wait in the woods while he and her brothers rush back to aid in the defense of their home.  Sonja doesn’t listen though, and follows after she hears screams coming from the village.  When she arrives, Sonja is stopped short by the hellish scene before her.

Before Sonja can join the fray, one of the marauders on the outskirts of the village sees her and grabs her from behind.  The man has a bit of a sadistic streak in him, and decides to hold her tight and make her watch as her family and friends are killed.  To her horror she realizes that these men attacked her village not because they wanted anything the villagers had, but merely because they were bored. 

Sonja realizes she needs to be slippery, “like the stag”.  She squirms in the man’s grip, and he realizes too late that she managed to get hold of his dagger, which she plunges in his gut even as he strikes her head with the pommel of his sword.  Sonja stays conscious just long enough to finish him off with an arrow.

Sonja wakes the next day to see the marauders have moved on, leaving her people laying where they died in the village streets.  Sonja takes it upon herself to bury all of the villagers, digging graves until her hands bled.  Only once they are all attended to does Sonja decide to “truly hunt” for the first time.

Back at the marauder’s camp, the men joke that their recent slaughter of “pig farmers and dirt tillers” was actually doing them a favor.  The leader, a man named Ryshak, wanders off into the woods to take care of the call of nature, but Sonja is waiting for him and shoots him in the neck with an arrow.  As he lies there dying, Sonja pulls out a dagger and tells him that she is “really doing him a favor” as well.

When Ryshak’s men come looking for him, we find out what Sonja has been doing with the dagger.  Before they can react to the signt of Ryshak’s head hanging from a tree, Sonja begins loosing arrow after arrow.  She keeps to the trees and stays out of their reach.  There were twenty men in the band, but over the course of four hours in the dark, the young girl known as Sonja kills them all.

Back in the present day, Red Sonja wakes up next to the stag.  Her horse is gone, and in her confused state she hears the stag tell her she has one last task to perform before she can rest: digging her own grave.  Since Red Sonja only has a sword to dig with and the ground is frozen, she doesn’t get very far before collapsing in a heap. 

Wolves close in on her prone body when they are driven off by the sudden arrival of Ayla and Nias—her young “bodyguards” from the previous two issues.  They excitedly babble at Red Sonja about how they have been looking for her everywhere and that king’s strange son, who everyone thought was a fool, managed to find a cure to the plague!  There is only one problem.

Yep, Red Sonja is dead.  Well, that was a short series.

Thoughts

• The appearance of the white stag ties the present day and the past story together nicely.  Of course, the sudden appearance of a white stag is full of symbolism all on its own. I like the true nature of the stag is left ambiguous.
• Here we get Gail Simone’s new origin story for Red Sonja.  It gets rid of some of the more problematic elements of her original origin story including her rape and her vow to the goddess Scathach that she would never lie with a man unless he defeated her in fair combat lest she lose her strength.
• I do find it interesting that the future “She-Devil with a Sword” almost exclusively uses her bow to dispatch her enemies in the flashback.  I guess she picks up swordplay when her and Dark Annisia are in the arena?
• Another cliffhanger ending, although I doubt most readers truly believe Sonja is dead three issues into her own reboot series.

Red Sonja: Queen of Plagues Issue 2

The issue begins with Red Sonja facing off against the only other survivor of the Zamoran slave pits: Dark Annisia.  While fighting the woman she once considered a sister, she remembers her time in the pits.  On the evening before they were to face each other in combat, Annisia vowed that she would not fight Sonja.  When Sonja grimly informs Annisia that they will simply kill her if she doesn’t fight, her response shows the depth of emotion Annisia has developed for Sonja during their time in the pit.

None of this seems be relevant now as Dark Annisia comes after Red Sonja on the battlefield in a rage, screaming at Sonja that her actions “dishonor the dead”.  Despite Red Sonja seeming to have the advantage early in the fight, things take a turn in Annisia’s favor when she pulls a dagger and stabs Sonja in the thigh.

In the meantime we get to see how the battle between the forces of Patra and Zamora is going.  Considering how outnumbered and undertrained the Patra forces are, they seem to be doing pretty well.  We also get to see that the Zamoran forces contain a lot of weird “monster-people” fighting on their side, which pretty much cements that they are the bad guys in this situation.

Back to the battle between Red Sonja and Dark Annisia, Sonja attempts to talk down Annisia and convince her to leave the people of Patra in peace.  Annisia is having none of it though, claiming Sonja’s life is one of “selfishness and betrayal.”  When Red Sonja claims she never betrayed her, Annisia screams it is not her who was betrayed by Sonja but “the dead”, specifically the ghosts of the slaves they killed in the pits.

It quickly becomes obvious to Red Sonja that Dark Annisia is not being poetic; she literally believes the ghosts of the dead follow her around and that it is her duty to bring them new companions to ease their solitude.  She also believes that Red Sonja has forgotten them and merely pretends not to see them.  In other words, Dark Annisia has lost it.

Unfortunately for Red Sonja, even if Dark Annisia is not all there mentally, she has lost none of her deadliness on the battlefield, as she illustrates by casually killing King Dimath.

The sudden death of their monarch has a predictably detrimental effect on the morale of the Petra forces.  Nevertheless, Red Sonja is determined to fight on and make Dark Annisia pay for what she has done.  Almost sadly, Dark Annisia informs Sonja that instead of killing her, it will be Red Sonja who stands down today.  When Sonja asks why she would ever do that, Dark Annisia shows Sonja her reflection in her blade.

Yes, Red Sonja has contracted the plague.  Dark Annisia mocks her for throwing away her life for “scribblers and basket weavers”.  However, Dark Annisia gives Sonja a choice because of who Sonja is and what they once shared.  Rather than put Petra to the torch, they will build a fence around the plague city where it will become a “living cemetery”.  All Red Sonja will have to do is kneel before Annisia and surrender.

Ultimately Red Sonja surrenders to save the people of Patra.  Dark Annisia has her marked with the plague markings we saw on the scavengers in the first issue and she is exiled to the snowy mountains of the north where she is to speak to no one and avoid all human contact until she dies.

Thoughts

• It is a bold move to have Red Sonja fail so completely in the second issue of the reboot.
• I was not a fan of having “monster men” as part of the Zamoran army.  I prefer my Hyborian Age adventures to have a more Lovecraftian horror vibe when it comes to such creatures.  As part of this army, they just seemed like a replacement for standard fantasy goblins or orcs.
• There is a definite implication that Dark Annisia’s feelings for Red Sonja are more of a romantic love than a sisterly one, although Red Sonja herself seems oblivious to this.
• I think that the reveal that Dark Annisia believes herself to be literally haunted by the spirits of the people she killed was handled well.
• Ending the issue with Red Sonja wandering the snowy mountains with her plague markings is a hell of a cliffhanger.

Red Sonja: Queen of Plagues Issue 1

After a long hiatus, I am going to try getting back into blogging.  So in the tradition of my Forgotten Realms comic book recaps I am going to turn my attention to another swords and sorcery series: Gail Simone’s run on Red Sonja.

Red Sonja was created by Roy Thomas and Barry Windsor Smith for Marvel Comics back in 1973.  She is very loosely based the the Robert E Howard character “Red Sonya of Rogatino” but is a distinct character in her own right.  She (in)famously wears a chainmail bikini into battle, and was popular enough to headline her own Marvel comic series at several points during the seventies and eighties.  Dynamite Entertainment acquired the comic book rights to Red Sonja in the early 2000’s, but my recaps are going to start with Gail Simone’s 2014 reboot.

The comic starts “three turns of the season past” in the aftermath of a great battle.  The man with the sword is King Dimath. Dimath seems like a decent enough king, but in his conversations with his lieutenant it soon becomes clear that his son Tiath is cut from a different cloth entirely.  While the battle was going on, Tiath was collecting humors and various other specimens from the dead rather than fighting by his father’s side.

While searching the keep, Dimath is informed that the only survivors are in the dungeon.  Originally there were eighty prisoners, but each night the Zamoran king would have them fight to the death for sport and only two remain alive.  King Dimath asks to see these “fierce men” only to find out they are not men at all—they are women!

The two survivors seem completely feral and incapable of speech.  King Dimath’s lieutenant suggest the kindest thing might be to dispatch them, but Dimath will have none of it.  He insists both of them be given food and a bath, then be given a horse and free passage away from the site of the battle.  Upon hearing this one of the women manages to grunt out her name: Red Sonja!

The story then jumps ahead three years.  On the border of Cimmeria, Red Sonja sleeps as three somewhat inept scavengers with strange markings on their faces case her campsite.  Without moving, Sonja interrupts their whispered conversation telling them to go ahead and take the food and the gold if they need it, but if they try to touch her or her sword that they will die.  The scavengers bluster, but Sonja informs them they are only getting this opportunity because she is drunk and she doesn’t want to get their blood on her horse. 

It looks like the the scavengers are about to back down, when two young girls armed with bows arrive on the scene to “rescue” Sonja, who they refer to as “your radiant ladyship”.  Things go south and Sonja quickly dispatches two of the three scavengers, leaving the third to beg for his life before vomiting up blood on her boots and collapsing.

The two girls explain that the scavenger has the plague, and that they have been looking for Red Sonja because their king begs her assistance.  Red Sonja explains that “no “king” summons Sonja”, but when she hears it is King Dimath who needs aid, she agrees to go with them.  Before going, she leaves the remaining scavenger wine and a blade so that he can end his life on his own terms.

Arriving at city-state of Patra, Sonja reluctantly dresses up for banquet being held in her honor.  King Dimath explains to her that the plague has come to Patra and decimated his army.  The Zamorans have marked any city-state touched by the plague to be put to the torch.  With no army King Dimath knows they won’t be able to stop the Zamorans, but at least wants his people to die fighting.

Sonja agrees to train the civilians to fight, even though she knows it is likely pointless.  Only four days in the Zamorans converge on the city.  Sonja mounts a horse and rides out to meet the invading army.  To her surprise, the Zamorans are being led by someone she knows—the woman known as Dark Annisia, her sister from the Zamoran slave pits!

Thoughts

• Even though this is a reboot of the Red Sonja character, Gail Simone doesn’t waste any time getting straight to the action.  I think it was the right choice to start with Sonja as an established heroine and parcel out the updated origin story over the next several issues.
• Walter Geovani does an excellent job on the art.  He has a very clean and detailed, if somewhat conventional comic book style.
• Even though Red Sonja wears her traditional chainmail bikini in this issue, Gail Simone lampshades the improbable outfit a bit when Sonja’s young “rescuers” at one point refer to her as “she of the excellent cleavage”.

Forgotten Realms and other D&D comics are available now as part of a Humble Bundle

Sorry for the delay in posting, but things have been crazy at work recently.  However, considering how much time on this blog I have spent recapping the old DC/TSR Forgotten Realms comic book series, I would be remiss if I didn’t note that the entire series is now available as part of a Humble (Book) Bundle.

And it is not just the old Forgotten Realms series either.  The old Advanced Dungeons & Dragons series is also part of the bundle, not to mention several of the newer Dungeons & Dragons series produced by IDW.

This is a seriously good deal and at the time of this post it is still available for five days or so.  So if you have enjoyed my postings on the old comic series and want to check it out for yourself, now is the perfect time to do so.

Forgotten Realms Annual 1: Waterdhavian Nights (Chapters 5 & 6)

Chapter 5: Leaders

This chapter opens with Foxilion examining the smoking ruin that used to be the Temple of Gond.  While he is trying to figure out if there is anyway he can turn a profit on this disaster, Conner from the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons comic sneaks up behind him.

It turns out the two rogues know each other.  Conner’s sharp eyes notice a gem as large as his fist lying at the bottom of the pit.  Conner offers to split the price of the gem with Foxilion if he agrees to climb down and retrieve it.  As soon as he picks it up though, he is attacked by a headless golem.

Hmmm… I may have skipped over a key bit of exposition during my review of chapter 2.  Remember the Gondsman who looked like Lex Luthor in a stupid hat?  Well, in addition to selling the cultists smoke powder, he tried to upsell them on a golem with some very dubious properties.

Even though the golem in the picture above only vaguely resembles the one that attacks Foxilion and the control “gem” looks more like an orb than the red gemstone Foxilion stole, I think we can all agree that they are supposed to be the same, right?

Anyway, Conner helps Foxilion escape from the pit, but the golem is still in hot pursuit.  Conner tells Foxilion to make a run for Selune’s Smile.  Conner considers following, but then decides he has better things to do with his evening.

Chapter 6: Bar Tales

Captain Omen is at Selune’s Smile, which is where Agrivar told him the artifact the Eye of Selune is currently located. He plans to get his hands on it by flirting with Luna, the bar’s owner (not mention possibly getting his hands on other things).

Omen’s  plan seems to be working, as Luna eventually agrees to show Omen the eye.  Before she can though, all of the villains from earlier show up.

Ever a slave to fashion, Kyriani has taken the opportunity to change out of her dress and back into the pant suit combo she was wearing earlier.  For that matter, the cult leader has decided to put on a different helmet.  Sadly, the Yuan-Ti is no longer wearing the mailed gloves he was so proud of earlier.

The battle for the artifact begins, and Luna takes a hand crossbow bolt to the chest that was intended for Omen.  Feel free to ignore this though as Luna is totally fine on the next page.

Before the cult leader can get his hands on the Eye, Kyriani betrays him and reveals that she has been working on the side of angels all along!  Agrivar then makes his dramatic (and non-disintegrated) reappearance by jumping through a window and clocking the Yuan-Ti.

The Yuan-Ti learns that if you live by the sucker punch, you die by the sucker punch.

Before the cultists can regroup, the remaining members of the Realms’ Master crew (minus Foxilion) and the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons cast arrive.  As you can imagine, the combined group makes short work of the cultists.  When Foxilion arrives shortly afterwards being pursued by the headless golem, that threat is dispatched just as easily.

Flush with victory, the two groups of adventurers swap stories about their evening.  Luna manages to trick Captain Omen into agreeing to leave the Eye of Selune at the bar with her and gets drunk.  What a happy ending!

Well, at least until Luna tells them she expects them all to chip in and repair the damage to her bar.

Thoughts

• I have now reviewed the entire  Forgotten Realms comic series.  I have been doing these for so long I find it hard to believe that it is over. I have been thinking of starting a similar series reviewing the current IDW Dungeons & Dragons comic series though.  If anyone is interested in seeing that, let me know in the comments.
• I found the art shifts between the chapters to be distracting.  Considering how common this practice is in the comic book industry for annuals and other oversized books, I am not sure why it bugged me so much in this one.
• I must admit that Captain Omen is quite the ladies man.  I wonder if he still would have flirted with Luna if he realized she was an aspect of the goddess Selune.

Forgotten Realms Annual 1: Waterdhavian Nights (Chapters 3 & 4)

Chapter 3: Soul Mates

Onyx, the dwarf from the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons comic, is attempting to lose the golem he spotted following him in the city streets.  Unfortunately, he doesn’t realize he is being followed by evil cultists as well.  Onyx runs right into the Yuan-Ti from earlier, who cold cocks him with a chainmail glove.

Oddly, the Yuan-Ti is extremely proud of himself for this maneuver.  Standing over Onyx’s body, the Yuan-Ti taunts him, talking about how the dwarf never expected a “snake-man” to have a mailed fist.  It is a surprisingly long monologue about his ability to punch someone, but I guess as a “snake-man” he is just glad to have arms or something.

He is still going on when Minder shows up and cleans his clock.  Minder dotes over Onyx’s unconscious body when Kyriani shows up with a barrel of poison under her arm.  Apparently, Kyriani also took the opportunity to change outfits as she is wearing a dress with thigh-high boots instead of the pant suit number she was wearing in chapter one.

Kyriani and the Yuan-Ti decide discretion is the better part of valor and escape while Minder is occupied.  While they are running away, I can only assume that the Yuan-Ti tells Kyriani about how awesome it was that he punched the dwarf with his mailed fist.

Back in the alley, Onyx wakes up and is startled to have a golem hovering over him.  Minder convinces him that she means him no harm, then asks Onyx if dwarves fall in love.

Somehow Onyx is able to tell Minder is a female dwarf by looking in her eyes, but he isn’t bright enough to realize that she is not wearing some golem shaped suit of armor.  She recaps her origin story for him, which takes just long enough for the remaining cultists to wake up.

The cultists have a glass ball filled with grey ooze which they throw at Minder.  It seems a bit odd that they would carry this around, but it provides Onyx a chance to shine as he takes out the cultists and saves Minder from the metal eating ooze.  The pair witness the explosion of the Temple of Gond from chapter two which they take as a sign that they should be a couple (I don’t get it either).  Onyx asks Minder to come with him to the bar Selune’s Smile so he can show her off to his friends.

Chapter 4: The Trouble With Humans

So Vartan has apparently decided to visit a brothel. 

Well, the caption calls it “one of Waterdeep’s more affordable ‘festhalls’”.  Note the word affordable and the quotation marks around the word festhalls.  Those are both from the original narration box.

Unfortunately, Vartan runs afoul with a mountain of a man named Troggoth who claims to be the women’s husband. I personally take this to mean he has paid them upfront for the full night.  In any case, Troggoth decides Vartan will pay for his impudence with a severe beat down.

Vartan decides to flee and jumps through the window unto a horse.  Well he thinks it is a horse, but actually it is Timoth, the centaur from the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons comic book.  Timoth politely asks Vartan to dismount, when Troggoth breaks through the stone wall?!?

Seeing the incredible Hulk’s uglier brother bearing down on them, Timoth takes off at a full gallop with Vartan still on his back.  Once they are safely away, Vartan and Timoth belatedly introduce themselves to one another.  Timoth suggests going back to Selune’s Smile, but before they get there they spy a burglary in progress.

The burglary is of a mind flayer “statue” which Timoth knows is an actual mind flayer who was turned to stone.  Timoth realizes that the cultists are probably looking to bring the mind flayer back to life and decides to put a stop to it (with Vartan along for the ride).

There is a  perfunctory battle with the cultists, which features both a runaway horse cart and Vartan’s somewhat racist belief that centaurs can speak with horses.  During the battle, the mind flayer’s stone body falls from the cart and is shattered.  Vartan is also thrown from the cart, but somehow manages to avoid being crushed by either the cart or the statue.

Hearing the commotion, Onyx and Minder rush in from one direction, while Ishi and Vajra rush in from the other.  This brings most, but certainly not all, of our heroes together.

Well at least you can’t accuse Vartan of taking credit he doesn’t deserve.  I disagree that it would have been easier for him to take his pummeling though—Troggoth was capable of smashing though stone walls after all!

Thoughts

• I was not a huge fan of the Dwarven soul mate idea.  The fact that Onyx can tell Minder is a female dwarf by looking into her eyes just seems hokey to me.
• Note that despite being “soul mates”, neither Minder or Onyx ever mention each other again after this issue is over.
• It is interesting to see the arrogant, skirt-chasing Vartan again after just reading issues featuring the somber and contemplative Vartan.  He definitely changed more than any of the other characters during the course of the series.

Forgotten Realms Annual 1: Waterdhavian Nights (Chapters 1 & 2)

The first and only Forgotten Realms annual was set before the events of the Time of Troubles.  It was a simpler time for Captain Omen and the Realms’ Master crew.  Captain Omen explains that Agrivar has informed him that the artifact called the Eye of Selune is being kept at a bar called Selune’s Smile.   Omen has decided that it is his duty to “collect” this artifact for the owners own good.

Captain Omen is concerned though because the crew’s recent adventures in Baldur’s Gate and Saelroon have left them less than welcome in those cities.  He asks everyone to be on their best behavior while they are in port.

Unfortunately, they arrive during what appears to be the Waterdeep equivalent of Mardi Gras.

Agrivar sees his half-sister in the crowd and takes off after her.  The rest of the crew uses this as an excuse to scatter and see the sights.  Even Minder, who Omen expects will stick by his side, leaves when she sees a handsome young dwarf.

The comic then splits into chapters, each following a member of the Realms’ Master crew.

Chapter 1: Siblings

Agrivar follows his half-sister Kyriani through the crowded streets.  He sees her come to a door guarded by two ogres, who she gets past by providing a password.  Agrivar is concerned because she looks different than the last time he saw her and she has had problems with her “dark side” before.

Perhaps I should take a moment to explain a few things about Priam Agrivar’s half-sister.  In the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons comic book, Kyriani was the daughter of Ostus Agrivar and a drow sorceress.  When she was born her father called her Cybriana and she was left to be raised by elves.  While under the elves care, they noticed a growing evil in her and cast a spell that split her into two beings: Cybriana (who appeared as a blonde elf) and Kilil (who appeared as a drow). 

During the first story arc of the comic the two beings were merged back into a frizzy-haired brunette elf.  This is how she looked when Agrivar last saw her. 

Sometime after that, Kyriani was split apart again.  This time she was reintegrated into a sexpot with raven black hair that had a silver streak in it.  You may remember her from when Omen was hitting on her in issue 24.

So Agrivar is definitely right when he says she “looks different”.  Frankly, I am stunned he was able to recognize her from across a crowded street in Waterdeep.

Back to the story.  When Agrivar peeks in the window to see what his sister is up to, he sees an almost comically diverse gathering of evil creatures.

Kyriani appears to be collaborating with these cultists to help them locate the Eye of Selune.  About this time Agrivar is discovered spying by the ogres.  The drow elf believes this is a sign of Kyriani’s treachery, but she decides to prove her loyalty by disintegrating her half-brother.

Well, I guess that is what he gets for ignoring Captain Omen’s request to be on his best behavior.

Chapter 2: Fireworks

The story now moves on to Ishi, who is shopping in the Waterdeep marketplace. A mischievous street urchin decides to play a prank on Ishi using fireworks.

Ishi is pretty pissed, but before she can act the street urchin is caught by Vajra from the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons comic.

Realizing the street urchin is no threat, she lets him go after confiscating the rest of his fireworks.  Ishi and Vajra introduce themselves, and the two warrior women take an instant liking to one another.

While they are talking, Vajra becomes distracted because she sees the cultists from chapter one walk by with a Gondsman dressed like Lex Luthor wearing a stupid hat.  Ishi offers to help her new friend find out what they are up to.

The pair follow them to a Temple of Gond where the cultists are negotiating for smoke powder (i.e., the Forgotten Realms equivalent of gunpowder).  The Gondsman is offering them enough smoke powder to blow up a small building, and it is implied that they plan to use it to blow up Selune’s Smile (the bar that the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons comic is based out of).

Obviously, there is no way that Vajra and Ishi are going to let this happen, so they bust in to break up the deal before it can be completed.  The two swordswomen make short work of the majority of the cultists, but the cult leader and escapes by summoning Chasme to fly him away (Chasme are the weird bug people who were with the cultists in chapter one).

Deciding not to leave anything to chance, Ishi uses the fireworks she confiscated from the street urchin to blow up the smoke powder reserves, taking out the entire Temple of Gond in the process!

To be continued…

Thoughts

• This annual is the only team up between the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons and the Forgotten Realms comic.  Pairing off members of the two teams does a good job of introducing the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons characters to readers who might not be familiar to them.
• In the initial meeting with the cultists, it is somewhat awkwardly established that the drow woman cannot understand the language of the surface elves.  This obviously so she can’t tell what spell Kyriani is casting when she “disintegrates” Agrivar.  Luckily for Kyriani this is before the days of third edition where she could make a Spellcraft roll to figure out what is really going on.
• Since Gondsmen are the “mad scientists” of the Forgotten Realms, I have a feeling that making the Gondsman leader look like Lex Luthor is not a coincidence.

Forgotten Realms Issue 25: Wake of the Realms Master

The Realms’ Master crew is still with the human merchants and Tashira the elf leader when this issue begins.  Tashira is filling the arrogant gold elf role that used to be Vartan’s domain before he found humility.  Meanwhile, the human merchants are helping Captain Omen prepare a “wake” for the Realms’ Master as it is a tradition among their people.  The merchants believe that the passing of a ship should be treated like the passing of a family member.  Captain Omen seems inclined to agree with them.

While everyone is distracted by the pretty fireworks, Labelas Enoreth decides to appear to his former priest and attempts to make amends.  Vartan doesn’t take this well.

Labelas takes the punch without complaint and pleads his case to Vartan.  He tells Vartan when he was cast down from the heavens that it was like being blinded, deafened, and crippled all at once.  Labelas says he went mad, and without Vartan’s strength of character to help him through it, things would have been even worse.

Vartan is skeptical and demands to know what Labelas wants.  Labelas insists he is only here to apologize and offer restitution in the form of a godly wish to his favored servant.  Vartan demands that Labelas instead grant his companions their wishes instead, as recompense for the misery he caused them when he possessed Vartan’s body.

Labelas reluctantly agrees and decides to start with Agrivar.  Agrivar finds himself in a brewery, or as Labelas calls it, “a drunkard’s heaven and a former drunk’s hell.”  He then makes Agrivar an offer.

Labelas protests that he must grant Agrivar a wish, but Agrivar’s tells only wish is that Labelas leave them alone.

Having failed in his first attempt, Labelas decides to try his luck with Foxilion.  Not surprisingly, Foxilion is much more practical and tries to decide what to do with this once in a lifetime chance.

Unnerved by the fact that Agrivar refused his wish, Foxilion decides it is wise to refuse Labelas’ offer as well.  Having failed twice, Vartan suggests that Labelas try his hand with Minder.

Minder is amused that this elven god wants to grant her wish, but she really only has one: that Labelas help Captain Omen.  Omen is somber when Labelas appears before him.  The old wizard has spent years in fear of death, but he knows that even a god like Labelas cannot stave off death forever.  Labelas is also unwilling to speed Omen into death’s arms.  In the end though, he decides there is one thing the god can grant him.

Omen finds himself back in the land of his birth.  When he inquires about Gabrella, Labelas tells him she is waiting for him. The reunion does not initially go as Omen had hoped.

The two wizards engage in a magical battle, using elementals to fight as their proxies.  It is too much strain for Omen, who collapses in a heap.  Seeing Omen in his weakened state breaks Gabrella’s resolve.  She simply can’t stand to lose Omen as well.  As the two make their peace, Grimwald stirs in his bed.  Omen tells Gabrella to go to Grimwald, all the jealousy and hatred having left him.  He then thanks Labelas and asks to be returned to his friends.

The only person left to grant a wish to is Ishi, the friend of Vartan’s that he wronged the worst.

Despite most of his companions refusing his godly wishes, Vartan is pleased with Labelas’ efforts.  Vartan isn’t quite ready to return to Labelas’ priesthood, but he no longer hates his former deity and the two part on good terms.  Perhaps some day Vartan will even be ready to return to the fold.

The next morning, the Realms’ Master crew awakens.  They only remember the previous evenings events as a dream, but they all feel renewed.  Omen decides to make the trip overland to Halruaa to settle accounts and perhaps even get a new boat.  Everyone in the crew agrees to make the journey with him.

Thoughts

• Foxilion’s outfit in this issue is simply atrocious.  Seriously Foxy, I thought you had better taste.
• Considering how little time Jeff Grubb had to tie everything up, this is a very nice ending to the series.
• I am glad that Labelas got a chance to redeem himself, at least a little bit.
• I never cease to be amazed at how far Vartan has come from the arrogant elf he was in the first issue.  While all of the Realms’ Master crew changed over the course of the series, he experienced the most genuine growth.
• Although the series is over, I am not done with my reviews.  For the next installment prepare to go back in time for a look at the Forgotten Realms annual!

Forgotten Realms Issue 24: Everyone Wants To Run The Realms

This is a very unusual issue of Forgotten Realms.  I think it is best just to let Vartan explain it.

Yep, it is an inventory issue.  You don’t see these much nowadays since comic book companies no longer seem to care whether a comic ships on a regular schedule or not.  Back in the 80’s or 90’s though you would see them from time to time when an artist or writer fell behind.

Of course, this issue isn’t being run because the creative team fell behind.  This time it is because next issue is the last one, so the creative team obviously decided to use this issue while they still could.

This is also going to be a very difficult issue to recap, since it doesn’t have much plot in the conventional sense.  Rather, it is an opportunity for Jeff Grubb to have a little fun showing the “behind the scenes” process and for Rags Morales to draw pretty much every character in DC’s Dungeons & Dragons comic book line at the time.  I mean, look at this page:

Vartan’s first stop on his behind the scenes tour is to talk to some of the magical luminaries in the Forgotten Realms.  Specifically, he stops to talk with Captain Omen, Kyriani (Agrivar’s half-sister from the AD&D comic series), and Khelben “Blackstaff” Arunsun.

When Vartan tries to ask how magic works, Khelben and Kyriani quickly remember they have places to be.  Vartan does manage to corner Captain Omen though, who stalls for awhile before admitting that “if you knew how it worked, it wouldn’t be magic now, would it?”

I should note that while they are discussing this, they walk past Elminster discussing “12th century Mulhorandain pottery” with two rather harried looking individuals.

The man with the stunned look on his face is Jeff Grubb, who in addition to being the writer of this comic was the Forgotten Realms lead in the games department at the time.  The man changing out the tape recorder is James Lowder, who wrote the portion of the TSR Worlds Annual that contained the Realms’ Master crew and was the Forgotten Realms fiction line editor.

The next stop on tour takes us to a demonstration on swordplay from our two favorite fighters: Priam Agrivar and Ishi Barasume.

The two have an entertaining battle before Ishi ultimately outsmarts Agrivar and gets the upper hand.  Ishi then takes a moment to give the reader a quick Forgotten Realms geography lesson.

After Vartan gives a brief weapons demonstration using a mace, he cedes the floor to Foxilion.  He speaks briefly about rogues while struggling to set up a slide projector.  Foxilion then gives a hilarious presentation on the races of the Forgotten Realms.

Foxilion points out that “the smaller the race, the more intelligent” before going on to talking about the monsters. He flips through hobgoblins, orcs, gnolls, giants, beholders, dragons, ogre magi, and dopplegangers before getting to one he doesn’t know.  Unfortunately, when they turn on the lights it turns out not to be a slide!

The Realms’ Master crew engages in battle with the thing only to find out it has high armor class, is magic resistant, and breaths fire.  Before they can slay the beast, R&D shows up to collect it.  Apparently, the monster is so newly created that the haven’t even established its ecology and family habits!

The concept of worrying about this beast’s family habits sends the Realms’ Master crew into peals of laughter.

Vartan decides to visit R&D next.  Outside of the R&D room he encounters Minder at her wits end.  Apparently, the writers and artists are looking to redesign her again.

When Vartan enters the room, R&D briefly considers giving Vartan a twin sister, amnesia, a Ring of Contrariness, a Girdle of Masculinity/Femininity, or all of the above.  Minder and Vartan flee, locking the door to R&D behind them.

I should note that when they do show the R&D staff, which obviously consists of people who worked at TSR at the time.  The artist seems to be Rags Morales, but unfortunately I am not sure who the other ones are supposed to be.  If anyone knows, please feel free to leave that information in the comments or to email me.

Anyway, having fled R&D Vartan and Minder are summoned “back to the set” by Foxilion.  Vartan then takes a few moments to muse on how this story fits, or rather doesn’t fit, into the continuity.  Is it just a just a passing fancy of Vartan’s mind?  Isn’t it all imaginary anyway? Are we sure that we invented the Realms’ Master crew for our amusement or did they invent us for theirs?

Vartan doesn’t give any answers.  He just turns the page, which shows the last panel from the previous issue, and tells us to “enjoy the story already in progress”.

Thoughts

• This issue is a lot of fun.  It was a great idea for an inventory issue as well, since it is almost completely divorced from the continuity.
• This is the final issue to feature Rags Morales’ art.  I can’t complain though as he gets to draw dozens of characters from different series and insert a ton of cameos from real life TSR staffers.
• When Vartan is fleeing being redesigned, one of the TSR staffers makes a joke that no one would be able to tell if they gave Vartan a Ring of Contrariness.  This joke cracks me up.
• I have to thank James Lowder for identifying Jeff Grubb and himself in the Elminster scene.  He sent me a nice email that talked about it after I put up my recap/review of the TSR Worlds Annual.
• Speaking of which, the fact that this inventory issue features Minder in her new form shows how quickly the TSR/DC deal soured.  If you want more details about what went down between TSR and DC concerning the D&D comic book line, Jeff Grubb talks about it on his blog here and here.