Red Sonja: Queen of Plagues Issue 4

As you may recall, last issue ended with the death of Red Sonja (Dead Sonja?).  So it is not too surprising that we open on Dark Annisia patrolling the fence she demanded built around the doomed city of Patra.

Dark Annisia spots an old man climbing over the fence, a task that is not that impressive as the fence cannot be more than three feet high at the most.  Seriously, when she said in issue two that she was going to build a fence around the plague city and turn it into a “living cemetery”, I envisioned something more impressive.  At the very least I was expecting something that an elderly man would have trouble scrambling over.

Dark Annisia stops him, but he claims that there is no plague in Patra; No one has died from the plague since Dark Annisia killed their king and exiled Red Sonja!  Unfortunately, the people in the city are now starving since the fields lay outside the quarantine zone. 

Even more unfortunately for the old man, Dark Annisia asks the ghosts she always sees following her to decide the man’s fate—unsurprisingly they have her kill him by striking his head from his body.  Apparently triggered by the old man’s reverence towards Red Sonja, Dark Annisia declares to her monster men soldiers that from now on she wants to be called “Red Annisia”.

Back in the snowy mountains, Red Sonja is apparently less dead than her rescuers claimed when they found her at the end of the last issue.

Not that she is doing very well though.  Red Sonja has gone blind, which apparently is a sign that the plague is nearing its final stages.  While Red Sonja is somewhat delirious at this point, her young rescuers manage to convey to her that the king’s son may be able to cure her if they bring her back to Patra.  Similarly, Red Sonja manages to convey to them that she wants alcohol.  As a compromise, the girls create a makeshift stretcher to pull her behind their horses while Red Sonja drinks from a wineskin and sings poorly.

At this point we have a flashback to the Zamoran Slave Pit with a younger—or at least slightly less well-endowed—Sonja meeting Dark Annisia for the first time.  At this point Annisia has a somewhat mocking tone when talking to the younger woman.  She informs Sonja that names are forbidden in the pit and warns Sonja that her willful attitude will get her sent out fight first.  Sonja simply declares that she has a name and if she gets sent out first she gets sent out first.

Despite Annisia’s condescending tone, she does give Sonja some advice on how to fight—advice Sonja will get a chance to use right away as the two women are sent to the pit to fight together against a team of four men for the amusement of the Zamoran king.

During the battle, Sonja manages to kill three of the four men by herself, much to Annisia’s surprise.  Sonja then methodically cuts off the heads of the men she killed.  Holding the three heads aloft, she proudly declares to the Zamoran king that her name is Red Sonja!

Back in the present, Ayla and Nias are foraging in the woods when they are set upon by a group of Zamoran monster men.  Their captain declares that an example must be made of them for breaking the quarantine.  So in somewhat ironic fashion he declares that the girls should be literally gutted like fish.  Specifically, he says, “Bend them forward, cut through to the spines as they do with fish.  Pull out the bones my friends.  Clean them and gut them.”

A still mostly blind Red Sonja hears this pleasant exchange.  Telling the “Deep Ones” that the girls are not seafood, she proceeds to slaughter the monster men despite being her physical limitation.  The captain turns out to be the same monster man who picked which slaves would fight back in the Zamoran pit.

Saving the girls and killing her old tormenter seems to reenergize Red Sonja.  She vows to return to Patra and take down Dark Annisia.

Thoughts

• I know I mentioned it before, but that fence was truly unimpressive.  No wonder people keep escaping.
• Dark Annisia rechristening herself as “Red Annisia” seems a little out of left field.
• I felt the flashback this issue was the weakest one so far.  We already knew Red Sonja and Dark Annisia had bonded in the Zamoran slave pit and I didn’t feel like we got enough new information of what it was like to justify the pages spent on it.  Young Sonja seemed pretty much fully developed, personality wise at least, by the end of her first fight, I wish more time was sent showing how her time in the pits shaped her into the bad ass she is today.
• I’m having a hard time determining how much time passed between young Red Sonja killing the raiders that destroyed her village and her fighting in the slave pits.  She seems almost as young as she did in last issue’s flashback in the initial scenes with Dark Annisia, but in the fight scene that takes place a few panels earlier, she looks a few years older.  This doesn’t seem intentional as the dialogue implies the flashback is all happening over the course of a few hours.
• Red Sonja literally calls the Zamoran monster men Deep Ones in this issue.  They still seem more like Davy Jones’ crew from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies than Lovecraft to me though.
• As the exception that proves the rule, the deep one captain describing how to gut the young women like fish in great detail was well done and creepy.  This was the first time the monster men seemed truly inhuman to me.

Red Sonja: Queen of Plagues Issue 3

The story picks up two fortnights after last issue, with Red Sonja is leading her horse through a frozen forest.  The effects of the plague and the isolation are taking their toll on her.  She realizes she has lost the will to care for herself—the only thing keeping her alive is the fact that she is caring for her horse.  Red Sonja hears a noise in the forest and quickly draws her bow, only to see a magnificent white stag.

Despite the fact that the stag would provide her with much needed food, Red Sonja cannot let loose her arrow.  Having lost all hope, the exhausted warrior collapses into the snow ready to die.  Strangely for a wild animal, the stag lies down beside Red Sonja, keeping her warm.  Lying in the snow, Sonja begins to hallucinate.

First Sonja is visited by an image of her father, who tells her that it is time for her to join her family.  Sonja then suddenly finds herself in the past, a young girl chasing after a different (?) white stag on her first hunt.  During this hunt Sonja also fails to kill the stag, much to her father’s disappointment.  He explains to his daughter that by letting the stag go Sonja has cost them food they need to survive.  Sadly he tells Sonja that despite her skills with woodcraft and the bow perhaps she is not yet ready to be a hunter. 

The conversation is interrupted when one of Sonja’s brothers sees a column of smoke and fire rising up from the village.  Realizing the village is being attacked by marauders, Sonja’s father insists she wait in the woods while he and her brothers rush back to aid in the defense of their home.  Sonja doesn’t listen though, and follows after she hears screams coming from the village.  When she arrives, Sonja is stopped short by the hellish scene before her.

Before Sonja can join the fray, one of the marauders on the outskirts of the village sees her and grabs her from behind.  The man has a bit of a sadistic streak in him, and decides to hold her tight and make her watch as her family and friends are killed.  To her horror she realizes that these men attacked her village not because they wanted anything the villagers had, but merely because they were bored. 

Sonja realizes she needs to be slippery, “like the stag”.  She squirms in the man’s grip, and he realizes too late that she managed to get hold of his dagger, which she plunges in his gut even as he strikes her head with the pommel of his sword.  Sonja stays conscious just long enough to finish him off with an arrow.

Sonja wakes the next day to see the marauders have moved on, leaving her people laying where they died in the village streets.  Sonja takes it upon herself to bury all of the villagers, digging graves until her hands bled.  Only once they are all attended to does Sonja decide to “truly hunt” for the first time.

Back at the marauder’s camp, the men joke that their recent slaughter of “pig farmers and dirt tillers” was actually doing them a favor.  The leader, a man named Ryshak, wanders off into the woods to take care of the call of nature, but Sonja is waiting for him and shoots him in the neck with an arrow.  As he lies there dying, Sonja pulls out a dagger and tells him that she is “really doing him a favor” as well.

When Ryshak’s men come looking for him, we find out what Sonja has been doing with the dagger.  Before they can react to the signt of Ryshak’s head hanging from a tree, Sonja begins loosing arrow after arrow.  She keeps to the trees and stays out of their reach.  There were twenty men in the band, but over the course of four hours in the dark, the young girl known as Sonja kills them all.

Back in the present day, Red Sonja wakes up next to the stag.  Her horse is gone, and in her confused state she hears the stag tell her she has one last task to perform before she can rest: digging her own grave.  Since Red Sonja only has a sword to dig with and the ground is frozen, she doesn’t get very far before collapsing in a heap. 

Wolves close in on her prone body when they are driven off by the sudden arrival of Ayla and Nias—her young “bodyguards” from the previous two issues.  They excitedly babble at Red Sonja about how they have been looking for her everywhere and that king’s strange son, who everyone thought was a fool, managed to find a cure to the plague!  There is only one problem.

Yep, Red Sonja is dead.  Well, that was a short series.

Thoughts

• The appearance of the white stag ties the present day and the past story together nicely.  Of course, the sudden appearance of a white stag is full of symbolism all on its own. I like the true nature of the stag is left ambiguous.
• Here we get Gail Simone’s new origin story for Red Sonja.  It gets rid of some of the more problematic elements of her original origin story including her rape and her vow to the goddess Scathach that she would never lie with a man unless he defeated her in fair combat lest she lose her strength.
• I do find it interesting that the future “She-Devil with a Sword” almost exclusively uses her bow to dispatch her enemies in the flashback.  I guess she picks up swordplay when her and Dark Annisia are in the arena?
• Another cliffhanger ending, although I doubt most readers truly believe Sonja is dead three issues into her own reboot series.

Red Sonja: Queen of Plagues Issue 2

The issue begins with Red Sonja facing off against the only other survivor of the Zamoran slave pits: Dark Annisia.  While fighting the woman she once considered a sister, she remembers her time in the pits.  On the evening before they were to face each other in combat, Annisia vowed that she would not fight Sonja.  When Sonja grimly informs Annisia that they will simply kill her if she doesn’t fight, her response shows the depth of emotion Annisia has developed for Sonja during their time in the pit.

None of this seems be relevant now as Dark Annisia comes after Red Sonja on the battlefield in a rage, screaming at Sonja that her actions “dishonor the dead”.  Despite Red Sonja seeming to have the advantage early in the fight, things take a turn in Annisia’s favor when she pulls a dagger and stabs Sonja in the thigh.

In the meantime we get to see how the battle between the forces of Patra and Zamora is going.  Considering how outnumbered and undertrained the Patra forces are, they seem to be doing pretty well.  We also get to see that the Zamoran forces contain a lot of weird “monster-people” fighting on their side, which pretty much cements that they are the bad guys in this situation.

Back to the battle between Red Sonja and Dark Annisia, Sonja attempts to talk down Annisia and convince her to leave the people of Patra in peace.  Annisia is having none of it though, claiming Sonja’s life is one of “selfishness and betrayal.”  When Red Sonja claims she never betrayed her, Annisia screams it is not her who was betrayed by Sonja but “the dead”, specifically the ghosts of the slaves they killed in the pits.

It quickly becomes obvious to Red Sonja that Dark Annisia is not being poetic; she literally believes the ghosts of the dead follow her around and that it is her duty to bring them new companions to ease their solitude.  She also believes that Red Sonja has forgotten them and merely pretends not to see them.  In other words, Dark Annisia has lost it.

Unfortunately for Red Sonja, even if Dark Annisia is not all there mentally, she has lost none of her deadliness on the battlefield, as she illustrates by casually killing King Dimath.

The sudden death of their monarch has a predictably detrimental effect on the morale of the Petra forces.  Nevertheless, Red Sonja is determined to fight on and make Dark Annisia pay for what she has done.  Almost sadly, Dark Annisia informs Sonja that instead of killing her, it will be Red Sonja who stands down today.  When Sonja asks why she would ever do that, Dark Annisia shows Sonja her reflection in her blade.

Yes, Red Sonja has contracted the plague.  Dark Annisia mocks her for throwing away her life for “scribblers and basket weavers”.  However, Dark Annisia gives Sonja a choice because of who Sonja is and what they once shared.  Rather than put Petra to the torch, they will build a fence around the plague city where it will become a “living cemetery”.  All Red Sonja will have to do is kneel before Annisia and surrender.

Ultimately Red Sonja surrenders to save the people of Patra.  Dark Annisia has her marked with the plague markings we saw on the scavengers in the first issue and she is exiled to the snowy mountains of the north where she is to speak to no one and avoid all human contact until she dies.

Thoughts

• It is a bold move to have Red Sonja fail so completely in the second issue of the reboot.
• I was not a fan of having “monster men” as part of the Zamoran army.  I prefer my Hyborian Age adventures to have a more Lovecraftian horror vibe when it comes to such creatures.  As part of this army, they just seemed like a replacement for standard fantasy goblins or orcs.
• There is a definite implication that Dark Annisia’s feelings for Red Sonja are more of a romantic love than a sisterly one, although Red Sonja herself seems oblivious to this.
• I think that the reveal that Dark Annisia believes herself to be literally haunted by the spirits of the people she killed was handled well.
• Ending the issue with Red Sonja wandering the snowy mountains with her plague markings is a hell of a cliffhanger.

Red Sonja: Queen of Plagues Issue 1

After a long hiatus, I am going to try getting back into blogging.  So in the tradition of my Forgotten Realms comic book recaps I am going to turn my attention to another swords and sorcery series: Gail Simone’s run on Red Sonja.

Red Sonja was created by Roy Thomas and Barry Windsor Smith for Marvel Comics back in 1973.  She is very loosely based the the Robert E Howard character “Red Sonya of Rogatino” but is a distinct character in her own right.  She (in)famously wears a chainmail bikini into battle, and was popular enough to headline her own Marvel comic series at several points during the seventies and eighties.  Dynamite Entertainment acquired the comic book rights to Red Sonja in the early 2000’s, but my recaps are going to start with Gail Simone’s 2014 reboot.

The comic starts “three turns of the season past” in the aftermath of a great battle.  The man with the sword is King Dimath. Dimath seems like a decent enough king, but in his conversations with his lieutenant it soon becomes clear that his son Tiath is cut from a different cloth entirely.  While the battle was going on, Tiath was collecting humors and various other specimens from the dead rather than fighting by his father’s side.

While searching the keep, Dimath is informed that the only survivors are in the dungeon.  Originally there were eighty prisoners, but each night the Zamoran king would have them fight to the death for sport and only two remain alive.  King Dimath asks to see these “fierce men” only to find out they are not men at all—they are women!

The two survivors seem completely feral and incapable of speech.  King Dimath’s lieutenant suggest the kindest thing might be to dispatch them, but Dimath will have none of it.  He insists both of them be given food and a bath, then be given a horse and free passage away from the site of the battle.  Upon hearing this one of the women manages to grunt out her name: Red Sonja!

The story then jumps ahead three years.  On the border of Cimmeria, Red Sonja sleeps as three somewhat inept scavengers with strange markings on their faces case her campsite.  Without moving, Sonja interrupts their whispered conversation telling them to go ahead and take the food and the gold if they need it, but if they try to touch her or her sword that they will die.  The scavengers bluster, but Sonja informs them they are only getting this opportunity because she is drunk and she doesn’t want to get their blood on her horse. 

It looks like the the scavengers are about to back down, when two young girls armed with bows arrive on the scene to “rescue” Sonja, who they refer to as “your radiant ladyship”.  Things go south and Sonja quickly dispatches two of the three scavengers, leaving the third to beg for his life before vomiting up blood on her boots and collapsing.

The two girls explain that the scavenger has the plague, and that they have been looking for Red Sonja because their king begs her assistance.  Red Sonja explains that “no “king” summons Sonja”, but when she hears it is King Dimath who needs aid, she agrees to go with them.  Before going, she leaves the remaining scavenger wine and a blade so that he can end his life on his own terms.

Arriving at city-state of Patra, Sonja reluctantly dresses up for banquet being held in her honor.  King Dimath explains to her that the plague has come to Patra and decimated his army.  The Zamorans have marked any city-state touched by the plague to be put to the torch.  With no army King Dimath knows they won’t be able to stop the Zamorans, but at least wants his people to die fighting.

Sonja agrees to train the civilians to fight, even though she knows it is likely pointless.  Only four days in the Zamorans converge on the city.  Sonja mounts a horse and rides out to meet the invading army.  To her surprise, the Zamorans are being led by someone she knows—the woman known as Dark Annisia, her sister from the Zamoran slave pits!

Thoughts

• Even though this is a reboot of the Red Sonja character, Gail Simone doesn’t waste any time getting straight to the action.  I think it was the right choice to start with Sonja as an established heroine and parcel out the updated origin story over the next several issues.
• Walter Geovani does an excellent job on the art.  He has a very clean and detailed, if somewhat conventional comic book style.
• Even though Red Sonja wears her traditional chainmail bikini in this issue, Gail Simone lampshades the improbable outfit a bit when Sonja’s young “rescuers” at one point refer to her as “she of the excellent cleavage”.

Random Reviews: Ant-Man

My feelings about the Ant-Man movie are complicated.  I was really excited about Ant-Man when it was first announced that Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World) was going to be directing it.   Needless to say I was disappointed when he left due to creative differences with Marvel Studios.  So for me Ant-Man will always have to compete with the pure Edgar Wright version of the movie that only exists in my head, and like anytime when reality has to compete with fantasy it is tough for reality to compete.

That said, Ant-Man is a fun movie.  Marvel Studios seems to have making superhero movies down to a science now, even when translating their lesser known properties to the screen.  Also, with the sheer number of movies Marvel Studios has produced in recent years they have smartly started to play with the genre a bit.  The Captain America: The First Avenger was naturally a superhero film mixed with a period piece, but the Captain America: The Winter Soldier was also a mix, this time of superhero film and a spy thriller.  Ant-Man is a superhero film mixed with a heist movie.

Like any heist movie, Ant-Man establishes what needs to be stolen, then establishes all the reasons why it is impossible to steal the item.  It then has the ringleader establish a crew with specialized skills that can overcome the security around the item to be stolen.  Of course, the heist has complications which are only overcome by quick thinking on the part of the crewmembers during the heist.  In the end, despite these complications the heist is successful.

Of course, since it is not a pure heist movie Ant-Man also has to fit in time for a traditional superhero origin story and a big supervillain battle before the movie is over.  Like Avengers: Age of Ultron it also takes some time away from the main plot to establish ties to the greater Marvel Cinematic Universe by having Ant-Man fight an Avenger to get a MacGuffin “needed” for the main heist.  Personally, I wish they had kept it closer to the traditional heist film structure and eliminated the battle at the end, merely leaving Darren Cross raging at how Hank Pym had pulled one over on him.  I am guessing my opinion is in the minority on this though.

As someone of Latino descent, I would be remiss if I didn’t talk a bit about Luis.  Played by Michael Peña, Luis is one of the first* Latino characters in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.  While I wish he was more then a comedy sidekick, he is genuinely funny and gets the most to do of any of the secondary characters.  Welcome to the MCU Luis, hopefully we will see you in the sequel.

All and all I enjoyed Ant-Man.  It had a good mixture of action and humor.  I don’t feel it was quite as enjoyable as last summer’s Guardians of the Galaxy but I would definitely recommend it to superhero movie fans.

 

3.5 carpenter ants out of 5 

 

*Maria Hill is Latina in the comics, but in the MCU she is played by a white actress (Cobie Smulders).  Conversely, Agent Sitwell is white in the comics, but is played by a Latino actor (Maximiliano Hernández) in the MCU.

Random Reviews: The Martian

I am not normally someone who gets bent out of shape by movie adaptions.  I understand that movies and novels are different mediums and that sometime changes need to be made to the way the story gets told.  I also don’t sweat it too much if the movie sucks.  After all, the book will always be there regardless of what sins against cinema the movie commits. So the fact that the first thing I though when I heard that they were making a movie out of Andy Weir’s The Martian was, “I hope they don’t screw this up”, is a sign of how much I love this book.

The Martian has an incredibly simple premise.  Astronaut Mark Watney is accidentally left behind on Mars when he is injured and believed killed during a dust storm that causes the Ares 3 mission to be scrubbed.  With no way to contact Earth, and no hope of rescue before his supplies run out, Mark Watney must find a way to survive on a planet that cannot support human life.  It is basically Robinson Crusoe on Mars.

So if the premise is so simple, why do I like it so much?  Well, first off the science is exceptionally good.  No work of fiction will every be 100% scientifically accurate, but Andy Weir obviously worked very hard to make everything as plausible as possible.  In an interview he had with Adam Savage (worth a view BTW), he talked about how he had even worked out the launch date where the distance between Mars and Earth would be favorable for a mission where the astronauts would be on Mars over the Thanksgiving holiday for plot reasons.  Please note that Andy Weir never actually mentions the launch date in the novel, he just wanted the novel to be as accurate as possible.

When you are calculating orbital mechanics and trajectories for interplanetary travel just to make your novel more accurate, well you sir are a steely-eyed missile man.

With all of this focus on scientific accuracy, you might figure that it is a dry read.  That is where you are wrong.  Knowing that we would be alone with our protagonist for the majority of the novel, Andy Weir makes sure Mark Watney is an enjoyable person to spend time with.  Smart, inventive, and possessing a sarcastic wit, there would be no one I would rather be trapped on Mars with.  OK, maybe a sexy starlet, but I am sure I would survive longer with Watney to work through problems as they arose.

As for the challenges Watney has to overcome, Andy Weir does a great job of making them appear insurmountable before showing us how the protagonist overcomes them.  In the interview with Adam Savage linked to above, he mentions how he wanted all of Watney’s problems to be a “cascade failure”.  In other words, almost every issue Watney faces is either a result of the initial dust storm that stranded him there or the result of something he had to do since then to survive.  This is not the story of someone with incredibly bad luck; it is the story of someone forced to overcome incredible odds.

I know this review is a bit of a love fest, but I can’t help it.  The Martian is easily my favorite book of the century so far.

Now I just hope they don’t screw up the movie.

So the Lords of Tyr tried out the Dragon Age RPG…

While I am not the video game fanatic that my wife is (few people are), I do enjoy playing them from time to time.  One of my favorite video game franchises at the moment is the Dragon Age series.  So I have been curious about the pen and paper incarnation of the franchise for awhile, but only bit the bullet with the recently released Dragon Age RPG Core Rulebook, which combines and expands the rules from the previous three sets that Green Ronin has produced.

The basic mechanic of the system will be familiar to anyone who plays RPGs.  Roll some dice (in this case 3d6 instead of a d20), add the appropriate ability modifier, and then compare it to a target number.  Nothing out of the ordinary there.

The most innovative concept introduced in the Dragon Age RPG is the stunt system.  You are rolling 3d6 for most rolls in this system, and whenever you roll doubles, you generate stunt points.  How many stunt points depends on your dragon die (one die of a different color).  You can then use those stunt points immediately to do something cool, like get an extra attack, push an opponent back, or even perform multiple stunts together if you have enough points.

I was intrigued by the stunt system and was curious how it would function in actual play.  I also wondered what gamers who were unfamiliar with the Dragon Age video games would think of the system and the world.

So I gathered together some of my fellow Lords of Tyr and decided to run Duty Unto Death, the introductory adventure featured on Wil Wheaton’s Tabletop.  Only one of my players was at all familiar with the Dragon Age video games, so I figured they would be a good group to evaluate the game on its merits without affection for the franchise seeping in.

The group quickly divvyed up the pregens, a Ferelden Freeman warrior, a Dalish Elf rogue, and a Human Circle Mage.  Because they were new to Dragon Age, I spent some time discussing the world and how they fit into it.  Luckily, the introductory adventure made this easy, as the characters were all new recruits to the Grey Wardens, and it begins with Duncan explaining key concepts like darkspawn and the Blight to the characters.

The first combat was very interesting.  Stunts came up a lot more frequently then I expected and really added a bit of variety to the “I hit it with my axe” rut that fighter heavy games can fall into.  It also forced the group to think tactically, especially as it was discovered how squishy the non-armored circle mage could be when darkspawn closed in on him.

(The circle mage also learned the importance of the rock armor spell from this combat, and he became a bit obsessed about keeping it up as much as possible since it is not a spell that can really be cast once combat has begun because of its long casting time.)

Because the game started a bit late, we only were able to fit in one more combat encounter in the session. By this time the group was pretty acclimated to the rules, and were really looking forward to stunts when they came up.

After the session, feedback was pretty positive.  Stephanie, still the newest gamer in this particular group despite having years of experience at this point, gave the most positive review.  She liked the stunt system, but seemed even more intrigued by the setting, which she thought had a lot of depth.  So I guess that is more of a thumbs up to Bioware, which created the Dragon Age setting for their video games.

All and all, it proved to be a very fun session.  It probably won’t become our regular game, as the group is pretty invested in the two long-term campaigns we currently are running, but I can definitely see us returning to it as time permits.

Random Reviews: Guardians of the Galaxy

Unlike most of the movie going audience, I actually knew who the Guardians of the Galaxy were before it was announced they would be appearing in a major motion picture.  That being said, I was pretty ambivalent when it was first announced.  Even though I am a Marvel fanboy, the Marvel cosmic characters were never my thing.  I figured I would catch it on Netflix at some point.  Then the quirky marketing campaign started and I decided to take a chance and see it in the theaters.  I am glad I did.

Guardians of the Galaxy is less of a superhero movie and more of the kind of old-fashioned sci-fi romp that they don’t make anymore.  There is more Star Wars in its DNA than Iron Man.  Peter Quill, or Star-Lord as would prefer to be called, is part Han Solo and part Captain Kirk—at least when it comes to Kirk’s penchant for banging alien-chicks of various skin colors.

Despite being the only human in the cast, Peter Quill is not a point of view character.  By the time you see him as an adult, he has been in space since he was eight years old and is fully acclimated to the strange universe he inhabits.  That is one thing I appreciate about this movie, it is confident enough to do its world-building on screen and drop you straight into the middle of the action.  They filmmakers felt no need to put earth in peril to artificially make the audience care about what was happening.  Instead, the spent the time making you care about the characters and the universe they inhabit.

A lot of the credit for the success of this movie goes to Chris Pratt.  I have been a fan of the actor since I first became aware of him on Parks and Recreation, and his charisma and humor come through full force on the screen.  Much like I have trouble seeing anyone but Robert Downey Jr. playing Tony Stark nowadays, I can’t imagine what this movie would be like without him in it.

This is not to undercut the other performances.  Bradley Cooper is amazing as the voice of Rocket and Vin Diesel is able to convey a surprising amount meaning in saying, “I am Groot”.  Even some of the smaller roles, like John C. Reilly’s “beleaguered cop” member of the Nova Corps and Michael Rooker’s “blueneck” portrayal of Yondu were a joy to see on screen.

Most importantly, the movie knows how to have fun.  It is not the full on comedy you might think it is from seeing the trailers, but it had plenty of laugh out loud moments.  Perhaps more surprising is that the movie was just as good as evoking pathos as it was at evoking laughter.  There are many moments where you really felt the pain of the characters in the movie, even if they were a CGI raccoon or a green skinned alien.

This is my favorite Marvel movie since the Avengers, but the impressive thing is I have been a fan of the Avengers since I was a kid and the Guardians of the Galaxy were a group I mostly knew about as a point of trivia.  The fact that I enjoyed this movie so much is an impressive feat.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Recap: FZZT

In Wrigley, Pennsylvania a group of off-brand Boy Scouts sit around a campfire telling ghost stories.  The scout leader claims to hear a buzzing sound and goes off to investigate.  The scouts assume he is just trying to scare them, until lighting starts arcing around and they hear him screaming in the woods.  When the scouts find the nerve to investigate, they find his body sparking and floating in the air.

Cool Graviton is back already!  Or maybe they just liked the effect.

On the Bus, Coulson is having his annual physical administered by Simmons.  Only, he is not due for his annual physical for several months.  When Simmons asks him about it, he blows it off saying his physical therapist asked him to get it.  This is obviously a lie.

Meanwhile Agent Ward tries out the most recent iteration of the ‘Nite-Nite’ gun, but complains to Fitz that it is an ounce too heavy.  When Ward leaves the room, an annoyed Fitz does a ‘macho man’ Agent Ward impression which amuses Skye.  Skye’s brief interest causes Fitz to awkwardly attempt to hit on her, which Skye doesn’t even seem to notice.

This mercifully comes to an end when Simmons enters the room.  When she hears Ward complained of the ‘Nite-Nite’ gun being an ounce off, she does her own ‘macho’ Agent Ward impression.  She is almost caught by Ward when he returns to let the group know they have a mission.  To cover herself, Simmons tells Ward that Fitz had left a dummy round in the ‘Nite-Nite’ gun and it should be the proper weight now. Ward tries it and agrees the weight problem is fixed.  When he leaves the group bursts into laughter.

In Wrigley, Pennsylvania the group investigates the (sort of) boy scout camp.  As the group tries to determine who or what could have done this, Simmons gets too close to the body and it falls to the ground after a brief electrical discharge.

With no more leads at the scout camp, it is up to Skye to research the victim.  Unfortunately, she finds nothing unusual about him.  In fact he is squeaky clean, dividing his time between his job as a physical education teacher, working as a volunteer fireman, and of course his scoutmaster duties.

They catch a break when Fitz detects an electrostatic event occurring no more than twenty miles from their current location.  May, Coulson, and Ward rush to the scene, but all they find is another corpse floating in a farmhouse.  Skye determines that this victim was a member of the same firehouse as the scoutmaster, giving the team their first solid lead.

It looks like a good one though as we cut to a member of the firehouse polishing a Chitauri helmet.

The firefighters were part of the first responders team during the Chitauri invasion of New York.  May, Coulson, and Ward head to the firehouse hoping to get some answers.  Coulson becomes suspicious of one of the firefighters, a man named Tony Diaz. 

However, the agents soon realize that it is not a weapon they are dealing with.  The firemen had picked up a discarded alien helmet as a souvenir during the Chitauri Invasion.  Unfortunately, the helmet contained an alien virus that had laid dormant until the three men polished it a few nights ago.  Tony isn’t a killer: he is the next victim.

When Simmons picks up readings of another electro-static event, Coulson realizes Tony doesn’t have much time.  He has the building evacuated but stays a bit longer himself.  He confides with Tony that he died briefly during the battle of New York.  He tells Tony there is something on the other side: something beautiful.  This seems to comfort Tony, who tells Coulson to ‘get going’ right before the end.

The firefighters are quarantined and the helmet is packed up to be delivered to the ‘Sandbox’, a S.H.I.E.L.D. facility in Africa for hazardous materials.  Coulson tells Simmons that the remaining firefighters may still need a cure, and tells her he needs her to keep looking for it.

So everything is wrapped up really nicely—and much sooner than usual.

But wait, there is more!  Back in the Bus, Simmons determines that this virus spreads not by the air or by fluid transfer, but via electrostatic shock.  She is ecstatic at this new scientific discovery, but when a metal instrument begins floating behind her Coulson realizes she was infected by the scoutmaster in the beginning.  With a profoundly sad look on his face, Coulson quarantines her the lab.

Based on when she was infected, Simmons only has an hour or two before she succumbs to the symptoms like the firemen did.  This is bad news as the bus is currently in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean and at least three hours from someplace they can safely land.  If Simmons dies, the whole plane goes with her.  Coulson realizes the only person with a real chance of finding the cure in time is Simmons herself—and he is willing to bet his life that she will.

Of course S.H.I.E.L.D. is not willing to take this bet.  Communicating with headquarters, Agent Blake reminds Coulson that his priority is getting the helmet to the Sandbox.  S.H.I.E.L.D. has never seen anything like this virus and they have a potential pandemic on their hands.  Agent Blake coldly tells Coulson that if they have ‘infected cargo’ his orders are to jettison it.  Coulson claims that communications are breaking up and turns off the connection.

Fitz-Simmons work together on the cure, albeit separated by glass.  The stress of the situation begins to take its toll though and the two begin to argue with Fitz again complaining (again) about taking a field assignment while Simmons claims he didn’t have to follow her if he really didn’t want to go.  By the end of the argument they realize how much time they have spent together over the years and Fitz quietly demands that Simmons ‘fix this’.

Simmons has her eureka moment when she realizes the Chitauri who had the virus wasn’t killed by it.  This means the Chitauri had antibodies for the virus.  Fitz grabs the case containing the helmet and breaks quarantine by marching straight into the lab with it.

Scraping some cells off the helmet the two develop an antiserum.  Unfortunately, the lab rat they test it on soon emits an electrostatic pulse, just like the previous attempts, albeit smaller and with a slight delay.  Fitz is determined to try again, but Simmons realizes they are out of time.  Simmons asks Coulson to tell her father about her death first, then asks for some time alone with Fitz.  She uses this time to knock Fitz unconscious with a blow to the head.

When Fitz regains consciousness, he realizes the rat survived—it was merely knocked unconscious by the shock.  Unfortunately Simmons has already decided to sacrifice herself for the greater good.  Fitz can do nothing but scream her name as she opens the bay cargo doors and jumps.

Desperately, Fitz grabs the antiserum and a parachute.  Before Fitz can jump though, Ward shows up to take his place and save the day with a daring midair rescue in his typical James Bondian fashion.

After a dressing down by Coulson, Simmons confesses to Ward that she lied about the weight of the ‘nite-nite’ gun.  He already knew, and even heard her imitation of him.  Skye, just grateful Simmons is alive, gives her a big hug. 

Coulson and May talk about Simmons nearly dying, and the topic drifts to Coulson’s death.  He admits he ordered the physical himself—the tests may say he is normal but he no longer feels like himself.  May tells Coulson that he IS different after his near death experience.  May asks Coulson to see his scar and tells him that scars exist as reminders that there is no going back, only going forward.

Later, Simmons and Fitz have a heart to heart where she assures him that while he might not have been the one to jump out of the plane, he did save her life.

At the Sandbox, Agent Blake takes possession of the helmet and warns Agent Coulson that HQ won’t let him get away with disobeying direct orders forever.  If Coulson keeps pulling stunts like that, no matter what happen to him in New York, eventually they are going to take his little dream team away from him.  Coulson tells him that he would like to see them try.

Stray Thoughts

Since the final half-hour was so squarely focused on Agent Jemma Simmons, I found the fact that the episode was named FZZT a bit odd.  Do even the writers have trouble telling Fitz-Simmons apart?

This episode felt a bit like two separate episodes smushed together.  The first half was a pretty standard Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. ‘investigate the anomaly’ episode, while the second half was more of a character driven drama.  Since I enjoyed the second half more, I wish they had gotten past the setup and to the character drama a bit quicker.

Maybe it is just Joss Whedon’s reputation, but I actually wondered if Jemma Simmons was going to survive the episode.  It made for great drama, especially when the final attempt at an antiserum seemed to have failed.

There was also some good character work with Agent Coulson this week, which is impressive considering that he wasn’t the focus of the episode.  I also like how they are developing his relationship with Agent May.

Is it just me or did the dramatic skydiving rescue scene look a bit cheesy?

In Conclusion

A strong character episode.  It was nice to focus on a character other than Skye for awhile as well.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Recap: Girl In The Flower Dress

On the streets of Hong Kong, a magician is plying his trade.  Unfortunately, his tricks are not that impressive as his nearly empty tip jar attests.  After a young couple heckles him, he generates a handful of flame which he tosses in their direction stating “This is not a trick!”  There is some applause, but the young couple is unnerved and they quickly leave.

After the act is finished, a woman in a flower dress who was watching him introduces herself as Rania and he introduces himself as Chan Ho Yin.  She tells him that she would really like to see “that fire trick again.”  The two of them go back to his apartment where they chit chat about magic until she convinces him to show her the fire trick.  He tells her that it is no trick, that it is real magic.  He doesn’t know how he does it, but he first became capable of producing fire from his hands a few years ago.

Rania asks him why he doesn’t share this with the world, but is concerned about ‘people’ (possibly S.H.I.E.L.D.?).  She flirts with him a bit, and tells him to close his eyes as she leans in to kiss him.  He does, but it is yet another ‘honey trap’—when he opens them two men standing there in fireproof suits. They quickly overpower him and knock him unconscious.

Back on the bus, Agent Ward and Skye are playing Battleship.  Skye wonders what this has to do with her training.  Ward says it is important for every S.O. to evaluate their student’s thought process, but he also admits that he just likes board games.  The two of them seem to be actually bonding, even though Skye wins the match.

Coulson and May look in on the scene and both seem pleased with how the team is coalescing.  May notes that Coulson was up early—she heard him puttering around when she got up for her Tai Chi routine.  When he replies that he just has a little extra energy to burn, she says that if he wants she could lay out the mats downstairs and they could go a few rounds “just like the old days”.  The way May says this definitely seems to have a flirtatious edge to it.  Before the conversation can go any further, an urgent S.H.I.E.L.D. message comes in.

Coulson brings up a S.H.I.E.L.D file on Chan Ho Yin.  Coulson tells the team that Chan began to exhibit minor pyrokinetic abilities a few years ago.  Fitz asks how Chan gained powers and Coulson tells him that it is unknown, although he did live near a nuclear plant that caught fire shortly before his powers manifested.  Apparently, S.H.I.E.L.D. contacted Chan and asked him to keep his powers under wraps.  They placed him on ‘The Index’, a list S.H.I.E.L.D. maintains of known objects of power and superhumans, and have been watching him ever since.

Skye is shocked to find out that such a list exists and is concerned about what S.H.I.E.L.D. does with this kind of information.  Agent Ward notes that the list is maintained for their protection, but in some cases they have had to “take action”.

Talking with Agent Quan, the Hong Kong agent assigned to Chan Ho Yin’s case, he states that they found a remnant of a fireproof suit at the scene of the abduction.  This means that whoever abducted Chan Ho Yin was aware of his powers.  He also has a suspect—a few days ago the Hong Kong S.H.I.E.L.D. office was hacked by the Rising Tide.  Everyone in the room looks at Skye.

In Coulson’s office, Skye protests her innocence in this hack.  After all, the Rising Tide consists of hacktivists around the world and she has been living on the bus for weeks.  Skye offers to help them track down the leak.

Chan Ho Yin wakes up in a luxurious room with Raina watching over him.  He initially assumes he was abducted by S.H.I.E.L.D. for using his powers in public, but Raina informs him that she doesn’t work for them.  She tells him that she is working for a group that wants to help him increase his powers. 

Raina plays on Chan’s desire for fame.  When Chan Ho Yin scoffs at her wanting to make him famous she says they plan on giving him the simpler name of ‘Scorch’.  After all, no one knows who Steve Rogers is but Captain America is on lunchboxes.  His desire for fame wins out and he agrees to work with her.

Skye tracks the hacker who broke into S.H.I.E.L.D.’s database to Austin, Texas.  His name is Miles Lyndon, and it is obvious that Skye knows him personally.  This fact seems lost on most of the group though, since even Fitz-Simmons know about some of Miles past hacking exploits.

S.H.I.E.L.D. tracks Miles to a café in Austin, but he manages to elude them by hopping in his Jetta and activating a ‘gridlock’ program from his phone which messes with the traffic signals.  He then meets up with Skye, and it is revealed that she sent him a text message warning him that they were coming.  She chides him for hacking S.H.I.E.L.D. while she was on the inside, calling him a “dumbass”.  He laughs, saying that since he taught her everything she knows, what does that make her?  The tension breaks and Miles tells Skye that he has been “missing her like crazy”.  The two then get reacquainted in a manner that necessitates the removal of clothing.

The morning after, or at least 5 minutes later, Skye is shown putting her bra back on and stashing an SD card in it.  Seeing the card, Miles asks if she is “making any progress on that.”  She tells Miles that she is, but it is slow going and even harder now that he hacked S.H.I.E.L.D.  After all, this is why she declared S.H.I.E.L.D. off limits when she left for L.A.  Skye tells Miles she has to get back before she is missed, but when she opens the door and sees Agent May standing there it is obvious that it is too late for that.

Coulson questions Skye about how long her and Mr. Lyndon have been in contact.  She insists that she only contacted him twice: Once when she first joined to let him know she was OK and once to let him know they were coming.  Skye insists that she was trying to get the information they needed to save Chan Ho Yin, but she didn’t feel she could tell them about Miles.  Skye says it doesn’t matter anyway since Miles doesn’t know anything.  Coulson is obviously disappointed in Skye’s inability to trust them, but does note that he had Agent May tail her just for this reason.

May’s interrogation of Miles is not going well as he just tells her that information “has a life of its own”.  Coulson tells the team to secure the prisoners, both Skye and Miles, for the trip to Hong Kong.

Back in Hong Kong, Rania shows ‘Scorch’ the lab.  Some of the scientists on hand inject him with a drug that significantly increases his pyrokinetic abilities, at least for a limited time.  Rania asks ‘Scorch’ to demonstrate his enhanced abilities while the scientists monitor him with their equipment.

In a holding cell on the bus, Miles complains about the lack of due process while Skye simply states that “they don’t have time for that.”  Miles is horrified by her defending them, saying that people like Manning, Snowden, and Aaron Schwartz are modern revolutionaries who fought against people like S.H.I.E.L.D.

Agent Ward, who was watching the surveillance camera, turns away in disgust noting that this guy is “spouting platitudes” and is “dirty”.  Fitz-Simmons disagree—except for the hacking he doesn’t seem to be involved in any illegal activities.  Ward tells them to keep digging.

Meanwhile, Coulson tells May that she was right when she told him Skye was a risk.  She tells him it is just common sense, “when someone breaks into your house you don’t invite them to stay”.  Coulson tells her he was just trusting his gut.  When May asks him what his gut is telling him now, he says “she is still hiding something.”

Ward confronts Miles and Skye with some new information that Fitz-Simmons found, namely that Miles received a million dollar payday for cracking the Hong Kong S.H.I.E.L.D. feed.  Skye is horrified that he cracked the feed for money instead of just so that ‘information could be free’.  She tells him that no one willing to pay that much for something has pure motives.  Miles retorts that the woman he sold the information to worked for a harmless ecological research company that studied centipedes.  Skye and Ward realize that this is obviously the same group from the pilot episode.

In Hong Kong, Rania is talking with the same doctor responsible for Mike Peterson’s super powers.  Apparently, the platelets in Scorch’s blood keep the Extremis in the serum they developed from igniting.  The doctor is very pleased with Rania’s work, but ominously tells her to “drain him”.  Rania hits a few buttons and Scorch is gassed.

Coulson and the team discuss what they know about Centipede, mainly that it is international, well-financed, and interested in creating super-soldiers.  Fitz-Simmons realize that they probably are hoping Chan Ho Yin holds the key to stabilizing the Extremis portion of their serum.  Coulson insists that they get to him first.  Conveniently, S.H.I.E.L.D. Headquarters thinks they have located the secret lab.

Speaking of the lab, the evil doctor and her team have succeeded in removing the platelets from Scorch’s blood.  He tries to activate his powers, but without his platelets he only succeeds in burning his hand.  As everyone leaves, Scorch yells after Rania that she said he has a gift.  She tells him that he does—and that he is giving it.

Miles and Skye argue about his selling the information for money.  In Skye’s mind that is completely at odds with the ‘information wants to be free’ ethos.   He doesn’t see the problem since that that kind of money could fund their organization for years.  Skye counters that his actions may kill an innocent man.  In the course of this argument they acknowledge that their relationship is pretty much finished.

Agent Coulson and Agent Quan plan the S.H.I.E.L.D. assault on the Centipede facility.  Quan’s people will enter through the lower levels while Agent Coulson, his team, and Quan himself will enter through the roof.

Boy, I wonder which team will see the majority of the action?

When they find the door to the lab, Agent May hands Coulson one of those tiny explosives he used to blow the door in Iron Man.   Coulson says “love these things” and the team enters the lab.  May quickly takes down the security guards and Quan locates Chan Ho Yin.  Coulson tells Quan that the strike team needs a security override to escape, but when he turns around he sees that Chan has injected himself with the Centipede serum and used his increased power to burn a hole right through his former S.H.I.E.L.D. liaison.  He then shoots a fireball directly at Coulson.

Ward realizes Coulson is in trouble and removes Skye’s handcuffs.  Back at the Centipede facility, Coulson successfully dodges the fireball, but sees that Chan Ho Yin’s pyrokinetic abilities now burn him.  Regardless, Chan seems determined to make S.H.I.E.L.D. pay for forcing him to keep his abilities locked up in side.  May makes a valiant effort to talk Chan down, but he is too far gone—only Scorch remains.

Back on the bus, Fitz-Simmons show Skye and Miles that the entire facility has been locked down.  All external connections have been shut down, but Skye thinks she can fix it from the inside.  Miles scoffs at this, telling Skye she is “a hacker, not SEAL Team Six.  Skye simply replies that she isn’t, but that Agent Ward is.

Coulson makes an effort to take Scorch down with a ‘night-night’ gun, but scorch protects himself with a plume of flame that melts the bullets.  With the computers back online, Coulson tells Fitz-Simmons to unlock Miles handcuffs so he can assist them.

Scorch locates Rania and the evil doctor just as they reach the elevator.  Rania tells the doctor, “I wish you all the best” as she shuts the elevator door on her.  The doctor pleads for her life, but Scorch uses his enhanced powers to burn her to a cinder.

Coulson comes up behind Scorch telling him that “We don’t want to hurt you—but we have to”.  It turns out that his was just a diversion as May comes up behind Scorch and injects him with more of the Centepide serum.  This proves to be too much and Scorch begins to overload.  On the bus, Miles reroutes various doors and air ducts to vent the majority of the explosion out the roof.

Back on the bus, Coulson gives Miles a choice of prison of wearing a special S.H.I.E.L.D. bracelet.  When Miles asks what it does, Coulson cryptically states “whatever we want”.  He does warn him to avoid any illegal activity and that he will find it hard to use any electronic devices for awhile.  He then strands Miles in Hong Kong.

Coulson calls Skye to the principal’s office.  She swings by Ward, who is having a drink with Agent May, and asks if he wants to come with as he is her S.O.  He coldly replies that he is off the clock.

Skye attempts to explain herself to Coulson, but he tells her to “stop lying”.  He demands to know the real reason she is here or she is done.  Reluctantly, Skye produces the SD card that she has been hiding in her bra.  She explains that it contains all the information she was able to find out about her parents.  It is not much, and it all ends with one redacted S.H.I.E.L.D. document she was able to find.  After a few moments Coulson decides to allow Skye to stay.  She isn’t off the hook though, as he makes her wear the same kind of bracelet he gave Miles.

In the ending tag, Rania is shown meeting with a man in prison.  He is obviously high up in the Centipede hierarchy, and she briefs him that the doctor is dead but that she found the secret to keeping stage two subjects from combusting.  Raina then asks him  to put her in touch with ‘the clairvoyant’.  She feels this will put her over the top in creating ‘Stage Three’.

Stray Thoughts

This episode finally provides some forward movement on what Skye’s agenda is.  I like the fact that S.H.I.E.L.D. was apparently involved in her parents disappearance.  At times I have joked about how S.H.I.E.L.D. seems to be more than willing to trample over what is legal in order to do what is ‘right’.  Between this and the Captain America: The Winter Soldier trailer, I am starting to think this is a plot point rather than poor writing.

I am a bit disappointed that all it took for Skye to sneak an SD card onboard the bus was her hiding it in her bra.  I know Coulson was playing the trust card to get her to work with them, but I don’t expect it to be easier to sneak something past S.H.I.E.L.D. then the TSA.

I am not sure how I feel about this episodes casual invocation of Chelsea (Bradley) Manning, Edward Snowden, and Aaron Schwartz.  These figures are extremely controversial, and depending on who you speak to the first two are either traitors or heroes.  Aaron Schwartz tends to be viewed with a bit more sympathy, but considering his story ends with his tragic suicide it might be a little crass to bring it up on an action sci-fi show.

I am not sure if it is intentional, but Coulson’s warning that Miles will ‘find electronic devices difficult to use for awhile’ reminds me of convicted hackers whose sentence includes prohibitions on using computers or the Internet.

I was glad to see the Centipede subplot move forward as well.  There was some nice continuity in having the doctor from the pilot episode pop up again, even if she was just there for Scorch to burn to a cinder.

Given his almost total lack of origin story, I assume Scorch would have been a mutant if Fox didn’t own the live-action rights to Marvel’s mutants.

In Conclusion

I felt this episode was an improvement over the last one.  The show is definitely improving, although I am still waiting for an episode that blows me away.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Recap: Eye Spy

The episode starts in Stockholm, Sweden.  Several men carrying briefcases handcuffed to their hands and wearing red masks, tweed caps and business suits enter a subway station.  A woman notices them and follows them onto a train.   While the train is in a tunnel, she smashes a panel that disables the lights in the train.  When the train reaches its next stop, people exit the car in a panic.   All of the red masked men are dead.  One man’s hand has been cut off and his briefcase is missing.

The woman is seen opening the briefcase at another subway stop.  It contains a smaller case full of diamonds which the woman places in her bag. 

Coulson breaks down what happen in the tease.  One of the largest gem brokers in the world hired 55 men, dressed them in identical outfits, gave each a randomly assigned briefcase, and sent them along randomly assigned routes in Stockholm.  The elaborate method of transport was chosen because there have been a number of recent ‘impossible’ diamond heists.  Coulson notes that witnesses described an athletic black woman as the sole attacker.  Witnesses also noted that she closed her eyes during the attack, something that is ‘either very important or very random’.

Coulson wants Skye to break down some theories on how someone could have ‘hacked’ the system.  Skye posits superpowers are involved, (e.g., ESP, Precognition, etc.), but Agent May says science has shown no proof that these powers exist.

Umm… didn’t S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Clint Barton (a.k.a. Hawkeye) spend nearly the entire Avengers movie mind controlled by an Asgardian god?  I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss the concept that someone might have a little ESP.

In any case, Coulson notes that they only have a description of the perpetrator because the CC-TV network was taken offline during the attack.  Skye then points out that they should check social media (specifically Instagram).  Coulson makes some crack about how this part of the job gets easier every year, but becomes serious when he finds his ‘athletic black woman’ in the photos.  Her name is  Akela Amador—and he trained her.

Akela Amador was a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent who went missing during a mission about ten years ago.  She was presumed dead, but Coulson wasn’t convinced.  May realizes that Coulson suspected she was behind this robbery, which is why he took this case to begin with.  Being the no nonsense agent she is, May suggests inform S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ that Amador is alive so they can track her down.  Coulson wants to keep internal to their group for the moment.  It is obvious this mission is very personal for him.

Amador is in her hotel room waiting for her buyer.  After dramatically closing her eyes, she asks him why he has one guy in the stairwell and one in the room next door.  The buyer is shaken, but she seems to accept it when he says that they are for his protection when he leaves.  Amador gives him the diamonds in exchange for a blank keycard.  He assures her that it will ‘access all the levels as promised’.

In Zloda, Belarus the entire team (minus Melinda May) is driving down the road in a van, or the ‘short bus’ as May calls it.  Skye and Fitz-Simmons setup a command center in the van, where they can use the Internet and Science! to track down Amador, while Coulson and Ward head out to do things the old-fashioned way.  Skye once again posits her ESP theory, which Simmons immediately scoffs at.

Seriously, has no one here heard of the Avengers?  That can’t be it because in the previous three episodes they wouldn’t shut up about them.

Arriving at a hotel, Ward and Coulson show the woman at the front desk a picture of Amador.  She recognizes it and calls Amador ‘my angel’, telling the agents that Amador sees things and warned her about her cancer in time for treatment.  When Coulson says that they need to speak with her, the woman at the desk notes that ‘with her gift’ that Amador probably knows they are coming.

Back at the ‘short bus’ they lock onto some kind of encrypted video feed.  After clearing it up a bit, they realize that it is someone watching them just in time for that someone to ram the van with a truck.  Skye is able to see Amador is driving the truck just before the van rolls over.

Luckily for the team, this was the extent of her evil plan.  Apparently, she just wanted to delay them and give herself plenty of time to escape.  Once back on the bus, they are able to tap into the transmission again.  They soon realize the camera is Amador’s right eye, which apparently has been replaced by a camera ‘ten years’ more advanced then anything S.H.I.E.L.D. has.  When she closes her eyes, the transmission changes to a sort of x-ray mode. 

S.H.I.E.L.D. also finds out that she is being controlled by someone else.  The watch Amador ask if she can sleep by writing on a piece of paper.  The response to ‘stand by’ is visible as writing superimposed on the screen.

Melinda May thinks it is past time to bring the rest of S.H.I.E.L.D. in, but Coulson shuts her down again.  Instead, he suggests the team take turns watching the video feed until they see something that reveals her location.

Much later, Coulson comes out to find the video feed unattended even though it was May’s turn to watch.  Playing it back, he sees that Amador received an eye message concerning the Todorov building as well as a receipt for her room services that shows which hotel she is in.  It doesn’t take Coulson long to figure out that May has gone after Amador herself.

May confronts Amador.  Amador asks if Coulson sent her, but May tells her that while Coulson feels sorry for Amador, she does not.  She will take Amador back to S.H.I.E.L.D. where she will get a fair trial.  Amador scoffs at this and tells May that there is a failsafe device in her head that will kill her if she does not comply—only one of them will be making it out of the room alive.

The two women fight, and Agent May has the upper hand until Amador knocks out the light.  May can’t see, but Amador’s super-vision allows her to pick up a discarded gun and point it at Agent May.  Before she can pull the trigger, Coulson kicks down the door and shoots her with an improved version of ‘night-night’ gun from the pilot.

Amador wakes up in the bus.  She is surprised to be alive, but Coulson explains that they have hijacked the feed.  Agent Ward is wearing a pair of glasses that are transmitting to her handler and is performing her mission to defray suspicion that anything has gone wrong.  Coulson grills her for information, but she has very little.  She knows her handler is English because he uses terms like ‘boot’ and ‘lift’.  Because he is a bad typist, Coulson determines he must be heavy set with pudgy fingers.

I don’t know how to break this to Coulson, but in my experience how well you type has very little to do with how much you weigh.

Since they have very little time, Coulson recruits Fitz-Simmons to remove her eye.  I kind of wish one of them had exclaimed, “Dammit Coulson, I’m a scientist not a doctor!”  Instead, after some weak protests the two of them nervously begin surgery.

Coulson and May believe they can track the transmission back to the ‘heavyset Englishman’.  May sensibly suggests she take him down while Coulson supervises the operation but not surprisingly Coulson insists that this one is his.

Meanwhile, Agent Ward is making his way through the Todorov building when he hits his first snag—the handler asks him to seduce the a security guard.  Ward suggests that he just take the guy out, but Skye tells him he can’t because he might be needed for the next stage of the mission.  Since Skye determines by the guard’s slovenly appearance that he is probably not gay, she suggests Ward’s only hope is to bromance him by talking sports and being friendly.

This is not Ward’s strong point and it shows.  Failing to bromance the guard he knocks him unconscious and walks into the next room.  This room has chalkboards full of equations and two men in front of typewriters.  Unsure what to do he walks around until he sees a specific set of equations on the board and his handler sends him a message saying “Mission Complete. Good Luck.” 

Ward realizes what this means when he walks outside and sees that the guard apparently had to periodically enter a password on his computer or else an alarm would go off.  Oops.  Agent Ward ‘James Bonds’ his way out of the building, but not before seeing himself in a mirror.  The handler activates the failsafe in Amador’s eye, but Fitz-Simmons manage to remove it just in time.

Coulson manages to track down the handler in a nearby square by noticing his nervous demeanor.  Coulson stops him and shows him his S.H.I.E.L.D. badge, but it turns out the handler is also under control of someone as his own eye’s failsafe goes off, killing him instantly.

Amador is taken into S.H.I.E.L.D. custody, where Coulson assures her she will get a fair trial.  Agent May speaks with her briefly and Amador asks “what happen to him?”  May explains that he has lightened up a bit after his injury in the battle of New York, but that is not what Amador means.  Instead, she more insistently asks, “what did they DO to him?”

Obviously, when Amador still had her bionic eye she saw something odd about Coulson.

Stray Thoughts

The bionic eye in this episode seemed to be ‘inspired’ by the Eye-5 contact lenses from Torchwood.  They both transmit visual information but not sound and they both allow another person to communicate with the ‘wearer’ by typing information into his or her field of vision.

When I first saw the red masks in the trailer last week I assumed that we were finally going to get our Rising Tide story and that the red masks were stand-ins for the Guy Fawkes masks worn by some members of Anonymous.  The real reason, they were disguises for men transporting diamonds, makes much less sense.

Transporting diamonds via men wearing red masks seems like a really bad idea.  Wouldn’t they attract way too much attention?  Rather than trying to disguise the men, wouldn’t a double-blind situation work here?  If neither the men or the people giving them the briefcases knew which one had the diamonds in it, it wouldn’t really matter if you could tell the men apart.

Everyone dismissing Skye’s ESP suggestion just seemed odd.  Throughout the series it has been noted that the world has gotten ‘weirder’ and it is the mandate of this team to investigate the ‘weird’.  I understand exhausting normal explanations first, but discounting the possibility of superpowers just seems idiotic.

The show really seems to be struggling with the massive resources S.H.I.E.L.D. brings to the table.  This is the second episode in a row where Agent May suggests they take advantage of the resources S.H.I.E.L.D. can bring to bear only to be shot down by Coulson.  I hope this doesn’t become her ‘thing’.

Agent Ward killed some people on his way out of the Todorov building, right?  As far as I know it was never established that these were bad guys.  In any case, the security guards seemed like average Joes doing their jobs, not nefarious killers.

I really, really hope that when the big bad is revealed that it is not a group made up specifically for the TV show.  A resurgent Hydra or AIM would be great, but I would settle for Agence Byzantine, Black Spectre or the Secret Empire.

In Conclusion

The drama was a bit improved this outing and everyone got something to do.

Rating: 4 out of 5

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Recap: The Asset

The episode begins with a ordinary looking semi-truck travelling down the highway.  There are two standard S.H.I.E.L.D. black SUVs behind it.  One of them passes and the driver waves to the agent as she passes.  Suddenly, the SUV in front of the semi is tossed into the air like a toy.  This causes the trucker to contact S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters on his CB (apparently he is a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent as well). Shortly afterwards the other SUV is tossed into the air followed by the semi-truck itself.

After it crashes, several men in camouflage carrying guns approach the back of the truck.  Using a excavator on the side of the road, the men tear through the trailer revealing a secret compartment with the S.H.I.E.L.D. logo on it.  The men cut through the compartment to reveal a somewhat bored man sitting in a chair.  Upon seeing the men breaking in, he adjusts his glasses and asks "Are we there yet?" in a somewhat annoyed tone.

Back at the Mobile Command (a.k.a. the bus) Agent Ward is supervising Skye in some basic strength training.  Skye is pretty annoyed at all this physical activity, but Ward insists that if she wants to be a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, she will have a defining moment where she will either commit fully to this training or run.  Skye asks Ward what his "defining moment" was, snidely commenting that if he doesn't tell her she will simply have Coulson pump him up with some truth serum again.  Ward shuts her down by telling her that S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn't have any truth serum-- apparently the scene from the pilot that convinced her to join was just an act.

The training is interrupted by Agent Coulson announcing that a convoy carrying a priority red asset was just attacked.  Coulson reveals that the priority red asset was a man named Dr.Franklin Hall.  Fitz-Simmons express concern as they know Dr. Hall personally.  Coulson then reveals the most unusual aspect of the attack-- the attackers were invisible!

At the scene of the attack, Simmons detects some unusual electro-static activity.  Her scanner accidently activates something which causes the gravel on the side of the road to rise into the air and begin swirling around in a dangerous fashion.  Fitz manages to stop deactivate the effect and the gravel drops down to the ground, leaving just a small glowing sphere that Coulson grabs.

Back on the bus, Coulson expresses concern that in order for the attackers to have known the route the convoy was taking that they either have a mole inside of S.H.I.E.L.D. or they have some way to monitor their communications.  Skye suggests she can analyze the treads they found at the scene, but Ward has already done that.  She then attempts to question Coulson about Ward's earlier comment that S.H.I.E.L.D. does not have a truth serum, but is cut off by Agent May handing her a list of all S.H.I.E.L.D. communications that have been made since the decision to transfer Dr. Hall was made.

Coulson and Ward chase down the man who sold the excavator.  Apparently the man was paid in gold.  Fitz-Simmons track the gold back to Dacey mine in Tanzania, which is owned by Quinn Worldwide. 

In Malta, Ian Quinn pays a visit to Franklin Hall.  The two have a history and Franklin Hall claims that Quinn has made a lot of money stealing his ideas.  He also notes that S.H.I.E.L.D. won't be able to come after him in Malta as they hate outside interference in their affairs.  Quinn shows Hall a sphere identical to the one that Coulson found earlier.  Hall is stunned as he recognizes it as using Gravitonium, a theoretical element which warps local gravity fields when excited by an electrical charge.  A one inch sphere was able to easily toss a semi-truck in the air.  Quinn then shows Hall a massive version of the same device.

Back on the bus, the team tries to figure out a way to liberate Dr. Hall without violating international law.  The compound is too secure for a frontal assault by anything less than a full S.H.I.E.L.D. strike force.  They could get in if they had a man on the inside (or perhaps a brave monkey), but they don't have time to organize that kind of covert operation.  Skye offers to go in.  Ward objects, but Coulson decides it makes sense.  After all, Skye is not a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent and her hacking skills allow her to finagle an invite to the shareholder meeting that is going on.

Fitz-Simmons provide Skye with a compact that will connect wirelessly to the compounds network when placed close enough to a computer.  This will allow Fitz-Simmons to deactivate the force field surrounding the place so a two man extraction team can enter to retrieve Skye and Hall.  Agent May assumes she will be on the team and protests that she has already seen more action than she bargained for, but Coulson surprises her by stating that the two man team will consist of Ward and him.  May tells Coulson that specialist work is different from field work, but Coulson cuts her off saying that he saw plenty of action with the Avengers.  Of course this prompts May to point out that he died in action with the Avengers.

Skye does pretty well at infiltrating the party.  Quinn, who is invited her because she is a member of the Rising Tide, even makes her a job offer.  He then gives a speech to his shareholders that seems almost custom tailored to make Skye question her loyalties.  Regardless, Skye goes looking in the house for a vulnerable computer-- until she gets caught by Quinn.  He is about to call security when she writes him a note warning him that S.H.I.E.L.D. is listening.

Skye disposes of her earpiece in a champagne flute and explains to Quinn that she was picked up in LA and has been gathering Intel on S.H.I.E.L.D. ever since.  It soon becomes obvious that Skye is just playing for time until she can get the magic computer hacking compact to work though.

Which it does just in the nick of time as Coulson and Ward have found themselves trapped between a force field and a gunfight.  Back at base Fitz-Simmons deactivate the force field just long enough for the two agents to get into the compound.  Ward goes to rescue Skye while Coulson goes to find Dr. Hall.

Skye uses the skills Ward taught her to avoid capture just long enough for Ward to save the day.  Coulson has a harder time of it though as he finds out that Dr. Hall doesn't intend escape.  Instead it is revealed that he orchestrated his own capture so he would have a chance to destroy the Gravitonium.  Unfortunately, doing this will destroy the entire island nation of Malta. 

Dr. Hall begins to overload the device, which causes local gravity to go haywire.  When it becomes obvious to Coulson that he cannot reason with Hall, he shoots the window, which is now the floor that they are standing on, and Dr. Hall falls into the Gravitonium sphere.  Somehow this stabilizes the reaction.

Cutting ahead a couple of days, Coulson has S.H.I.E.L.D. place the Gravitonium sphere in "Deep Freeze" and specifically asks that it not be shot into space.  On a personal level, Skye begins to take her field training more seriously, May decides that she would rather be in the field than sit on the sidelines while others take risks, and Coulson expresses concern over how his muscle memory seems a bit on the rusty side.

In the ending tag, the viewers get to see a shape in the form of a human hand attempt to escape the sphere but get sucked back in.

Stray Thoughts

Gravitonium is Atomic Number 123 and Atomic Mass 308.  Atomic Number 123 is currently an empty spot on the Periodic Table in between Unbibium (122) and Unbiquadium (124).

Comic book fans will recognize Dr. Franklin Hall as the supervillain Graviton.  While he is immensely powerful, Graviton has never really been an A-List villain like Magneto or Doctor Doom.  Nevertheless, he has always had a special place in my heart as my first exposure too him was as the surprise big bad at the end of the West Coast Avengers limited series.  I am happy to see him get some live action exposure.

This episode seems to retcon the truth serum scene from the pilot.  Since I was not a big fan of that scene I can’t really complain.

Apparently Coulson only owns suits.

Man does Malta get a bad rap in this episode.  What the heck has S.H.I.E.L.D. been up to that it is legal to shoot them on sight there?  Of course, after the way they treated the Peruvian government last episode, maybe this is typical of S.H.I.E.L.D. relations.

Didn’t S.H.I.E.L.D. just cause a major international incident?  They specifically talked about how attacking during the shareholder meeting would cause international outrage, but that is exactly what they did!  Skye had mentioned that Ian Quinn had a reputation as a huge philanthropist.  He had gathered his shareholders and just announced a major scientific breakthrough.  Then S.H.I.E.L.D. attacks, destroys his lab and steals his research.  I wonder if other countries will adopt the “shoot S.H.I.E.L.D. agents on sight” policy after this.

It made me laugh that three S.H.I.E.L.D. agents on a hostile island absconded with the Gravitonium during a convenient cut scene.  It reminds me of how in King Kong they never made any attempt to explain how they managed to transport a thirty foot tall ape from Skull Island to New York on a boat that was not much larger than he was.

I wish that a better reason was given for not using the Slingshot to shoot the Gravitonium into the sun than “Coulson said so”.  After all, this stuff seems ten times more dangerous than the super laser from last episode.  A single line of dialogue saying “With the gravity fluctuations this produces it would never make it to the sun” or “We don’t know how the sun’s intense gravitational field would interact with this substance” would work.  As it stands, the real reason seems to be “We need to be able to bring back Graviton later”.

I get that Agent May was frustrated sitting on the sidelines, but it seemed like she decided to become a field agent again way too easily.  I have to assume something major caused her to quit, so I would expect it would take something equally major to bring her back.  All and all this episode seemed way too pedestrian to spark that kind of change.

In Conclusion

This episode moved at a faster pace than the previous episodes and the threat of the Gravitonium seemed much more worthy of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s time than the super laser from last episode.  On the downside the ending seemed rushed and I never quite bought the “will Skye betray them” plot line despite the fact that Skye will obviously betray them at some point (probably during sweeps).

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars (I feel like a broken record).