Chapter 3: Soul Mates
Onyx, the dwarf from the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons comic, is attempting to lose the golem he spotted following him in the city streets. Unfortunately, he doesn’t realize he is being followed by evil cultists as well. Onyx runs right into the Yuan-Ti from earlier, who cold cocks him with a chainmail glove.
Oddly, the Yuan-Ti is extremely proud of himself for this maneuver. Standing over Onyx’s body, the Yuan-Ti taunts him, talking about how the dwarf never expected a “snake-man” to have a mailed fist. It is a surprisingly long monologue about his ability to punch someone, but I guess as a “snake-man” he is just glad to have arms or something.
He is still going on when Minder shows up and cleans his clock. Minder dotes over Onyx’s unconscious body when Kyriani shows up with a barrel of poison under her arm. Apparently, Kyriani also took the opportunity to change outfits as she is wearing a dress with thigh-high boots instead of the pant suit number she was wearing in chapter one.
Kyriani and the Yuan-Ti decide discretion is the better part of valor and escape while Minder is occupied. While they are running away, I can only assume that the Yuan-Ti tells Kyriani about how awesome it was that he punched the dwarf with his mailed fist.
Back in the alley, Onyx wakes up and is startled to have a golem hovering over him. Minder convinces him that she means him no harm, then asks Onyx if dwarves fall in love.
Somehow Onyx is able to tell Minder is a female dwarf by looking in her eyes, but he isn’t bright enough to realize that she is not wearing some golem shaped suit of armor. She recaps her origin story for him, which takes just long enough for the remaining cultists to wake up.
The cultists have a glass ball filled with grey ooze which they throw at Minder. It seems a bit odd that they would carry this around, but it provides Onyx a chance to shine as he takes out the cultists and saves Minder from the metal eating ooze. The pair witness the explosion of the Temple of Gond from chapter two which they take as a sign that they should be a couple (I don’t get it either). Onyx asks Minder to come with him to the bar Selune’s Smile so he can show her off to his friends.
Chapter 4: The Trouble With Humans
So Vartan has apparently decided to visit a brothel.
Well, the caption calls it “one of Waterdeep’s more affordable ‘festhalls’”. Note the word affordable and the quotation marks around the word festhalls. Those are both from the original narration box.
Unfortunately, Vartan runs afoul with a mountain of a man named Troggoth who claims to be the women’s husband. I personally take this to mean he has paid them upfront for the full night. In any case, Troggoth decides Vartan will pay for his impudence with a severe beat down.
Vartan decides to flee and jumps through the window unto a horse. Well he thinks it is a horse, but actually it is Timoth, the centaur from the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons comic book. Timoth politely asks Vartan to dismount, when Troggoth breaks through the stone wall?!?
Seeing the incredible Hulk’s uglier brother bearing down on them, Timoth takes off at a full gallop with Vartan still on his back. Once they are safely away, Vartan and Timoth belatedly introduce themselves to one another. Timoth suggests going back to Selune’s Smile, but before they get there they spy a burglary in progress.
The burglary is of a mind flayer “statue” which Timoth knows is an actual mind flayer who was turned to stone. Timoth realizes that the cultists are probably looking to bring the mind flayer back to life and decides to put a stop to it (with Vartan along for the ride).
There is a perfunctory battle with the cultists, which features both a runaway horse cart and Vartan’s somewhat racist belief that centaurs can speak with horses. During the battle, the mind flayer’s stone body falls from the cart and is shattered. Vartan is also thrown from the cart, but somehow manages to avoid being crushed by either the cart or the statue.
Hearing the commotion, Onyx and Minder rush in from one direction, while Ishi and Vajra rush in from the other. This brings most, but certainly not all, of our heroes together.
Well at least you can’t accuse Vartan of taking credit he doesn’t deserve. I disagree that it would have been easier for him to take his pummeling though—Troggoth was capable of smashing though stone walls after all!
- I was not a huge fan of the Dwarven soul mate idea. The fact that Onyx can tell Minder is a female dwarf by looking into her eyes just seems hokey to me.
- Note that despite being “soul mates”, neither Minder or Onyx ever mention each other again after this issue is over.
- It is interesting to see the arrogant, skirt-chasing Vartan again after just reading issues featuring the somber and contemplative Vartan. He definitely changed more than any of the other characters during the course of the series.